How do you get one of those if you're 100% whitebread?

I'm feeling about as flat as can be right now. Maybe its because I'm supposed to be resting this week for the imminent max effort coming on Sunday morning. I have a hard time resting - I want to go play. I know its good for my legs, but I need to get some exercise in. Good thing its Thursday night - racquetball will help get me fired up again.

This has been one of those super-tiring weeks. Lyza had a bad night on Monday - up all night - worried about me going down to Tucson for work. Top that off with just regular day to day stress and you get two things:

1) I fell asleep driving yesterday - split second - but enough to make me pull over and sleep for 10 minutes.

2) I also fell asleep watching Lyza at her tennis lesson last night. She busted me on it too - I was out for maybe a minute and I wake up to her laughing down on the court.

Narcolepsy? Probably - I can fall asleep in 2.2 seconds when I'm whipped.

OK - r-ball tonight, an easy 20 mile road bike ride tomorrow morning, and the same thing on Saturday Am in preparation for the race. We have a 5 hour 1-way drive to Safford, AZ - so it'll be a long Sunday. Hey - its better than sittin' on my ass and watching the Vikings make a traveshamockery out of the NFL.

Fish -

Is that you drivin' Mommy's car?

Time has a great....

article on the spouses of the major contenders for the 2008 election. If you're a John Edwards person, his wife is a smokin' gun for several reasons. She's whip-smart, she has stage IV breast cancer with a life expectancy of less than 5 years - making her in the opinion of most strategists - untouchable. How can you rip her? If you do - you are an ass, and she is confident and smart enough to get right in your face.

I guess the point is that these spouses are strong - including Mr. Clinton - possibly the "First Laddie" of the White House. To me, the Clinton's deserve their position as #1/#1 - the poll leaders in the Dem polls, and the overall poll leaders of all candidates.

Now if you're casting your vote for Prez based on the hottest spouse, then you have to lean towards John McCain - his wife Cindy McCain is it if you like the "cougar" look. She's blond, fit, rich, and smart. If you have jungle fever then ya best choose Obama's wife Michelle - although she might not be 'black enough', like Obama's critics say of him.

I don't even care who wins the Republican ticket, so we'll keep the discussion on this blog geared towards the interesting and talent-laden Dem side. Cindy McCain....today's front runner anyway.

The Girls

A good weekend, a great hike, just kickin' back in the late summer temps.

Funniest things I read tonight:
1.) The pathetic "questioning" by the House of Gen. Petreus. Talk about a guy being hung out to dry by Bush.
2.) The "feud" between Kanye West and 50 Cent.
3.) The Vikings offense
4.) The lyrics to Cheeseburger's song "Do You Remember" - check these guys out if you haven't yet. They'll wake your ass up if you're draggin it to the starting line.
5.) Vito's assessment of the Chicago Bears and how it relates to him banging a South American Chick. Vito is ALWAYS on hand with a good story.

Good Night Biyotches...

So much for the Vikings

It was a good weekend, with virtually no riding or anything going on other than working a bit on Saturday, and hanging out with the Family on Sunday. The Vikings do suck, and I don't even know why I give a sh*t about them anymore.

Work is hectic - people out on vaca, people out sick, and I have a big hill to climb this coming Saturday. I'll find time to ride tomorrow and Wednesday as a final tune up before climbing the monster. Here are the stats:

Mount Graham / Safford AZ
20 mile climb
Base elev: 3,500 feet
Top: 9,300 feet
Gradient: Average of around 6% or so

It'll be 80+ at the bottom, and around 65 at the top.

Nothing brutal, but definately a Category 1 Tour de France climb - minus the drugs. Does weed count? Just kidding, but it might take the edge off this week thinking about the race. Maybe I'll get some for 'medicinal' purposes.

OK - back to the sawmill.

It was a good night at the courts

Timid Tim has developed a little bit of a game, and wasn't so timid. But he went down like Lindsey Lohan on a traffic cop. Then I played Ken I have the look of a potential serial killer. You should see this guy's face - he could either smile and laugh, or look like he'll rape your wife, kill your kids, and keep your dog. I'm gonna keep my distance, and NEVER hit him with the ball. He has a good game, but not a lot of fitness, so he went down swingin'. Then it was on to Kaotic Kevin - which is really an acronym. He's calm, cool, and has a lot of control. We played twice, and I wasted him the first time, and we battled to 15-13 the last game - I got him at the wire. It was a great match - and I can't wait to play this guy again.

The Lowly Detroit Lions play the Vikes this weekend. Fish - if you're reading this, Adrian Peterson will WRECK your Lions this weekend. Vikes....goin 2-0 baby.

I'm ready for Friday evening. For the weekend ya know........

CB

Sub 40

For the first time, I comfortably finished climbing Snowbowl road in under 40 minutes. 39:15 to be exact, with no one chasing me, and no one in front of me. 6.2 miles, 7,000 feet at the start line to 9,000 feet at the top. OK - so I'm pretty pumped about it, but then I remember the reality of my so called 'achievement'.

In last year's race to the top, the winner of the Pro,1,2 category demolished the climb in 26:34. He had enough time to take of the chamois, drink an Iced Tea, give an interview, kiss his wife and tell her about the climb, and load his bike to go home.......and then I would have crossed the line. Good thing I'm a Hotel Manager because I sure ain't gonna make a living climbing Snowbowl.

Enjoy your Thursday. Racquetball tonight against Fat F*ck Fred, and Tough Mike. At least I have one good match to look forward to.

The next 11 days

I'm not really nervous yet about the state championship hill climb because although I'm entered in the Cat 4 men, I'm not racing for me. C'mon - I wouldn't have a chance of placing in the top 10 of my category. I'm too slow which is caused by not riding my road bike as much as I could, and the fact that I'm 190+ pounds. The dudes who win this race are little dudes who climb like gondolas in Vail.

The goal is to get D on the podium of the Women's 4. We have been training, and we worked our tails off on a 50 mile loop last weekend featuring a 16 mile climb - not really high elevation though. I'm still recovering from that ride. My job next weekend is to hang on to D's wheel on the steeps - which is not easy for me, and then step up and provide a draft for her on the flatter sections. Hopefully, with a little luck, she will be on that podium.

Our canceled vacation has allowed the priviledge of working this week - that's just f'n great. It has also allowed me to only work 1/2 days so we have spent time looking at real estate for my Uncle to buy. I hope we can get him moved in to Flagstaff in the next 6 months. It would be great to have him around more. He's a twitchy SOB, but he's a blast to be around.

We may have an update tonight on a condo about 2 miles from my front door. If so - pictures will follow tomorrow.

HAVASUPAI? Nope....here's where I ended up on Sunday. In Hell. Yup, that's Phoenix, and we took my Dad back there to get him on a plane home. He wasn't feeling all that good, so we canceled the trip. Hey - curveballs come at ya all the time. It's how you make the adjustment.

Adjustments - oh yeah. We hit the Mandalay Tea Room for some tofu scramble plates and organic French Pressed Coffee. Then, off to Gameworks for 2 hours of airhockey and driving games. Good times.

So, we made the most of it. I did go to work today, but I cut out early since it was a vacation day. I got in 2.5 hours of climbing, and 45 minutes of descending on the mountain bike. It could not have been a better afternoon.

So I look at the racquetball leage schedule last night and.....

who do I draw? Chris G (a 20 year old college kid who is sponsored by Ektelon), and some dude who ripped both of his hammies about a month back...."some dude" ended up a no-show.

So Chris G plays a match before me against a stiff named Timid Tim. He's a nice guy, looks like Dave Stout, but at least Stout can hit a jumper from 20 with a hand in his face. Timid Tim lasted all of 15 minutes with Chris G. I was cold on the couch waiting to play Chris G - 2 minute warm-up, and we are off.

He waxes me 15-4 in the first game. I was cold, but not that cold. He just surprised me with his power, and it took me until the last 5 minutes of the game to catch on to his strategy. Next game - I pegged it early and took him 15-4. Primarily, I just took advantage of any marginal shot he made, and I got on a good roll. So we're standing by the drinking fountain, and I says to the guy I says "So this game is to 11, right?" He says "yeah..11". I say "Sh*t....I don't do well in short games as I have a hard time getting my engine running". It was a little mental warfare, but it worked. I turned on the gas early - got out to an 8-2 lead, and took him 11-5. We talked after, and I was thinking he had been playing since he was 16.....played a lot of tourneys, been sponsored for a few years etc etc etc. Nope. The f*cker picked up a racquet 9 months ago playing with his buddy on outdoor cement courts in Phoenix. Played in 3 tourneys this summer, and moved to Flagstaff in August. He got sponsored after his 3rd tourney which he won.

He was three, f*cking 3, when I graduated from college. I have been playing competitively for 21 years, and we are at about the same level. I wanted to pull a Tanya Harding on his left knee so I don't have to play him in the tournament in 5 weeks. The bright side, is that I can still play with these dudes. The dark side is I'm absolutely positively as good as I will get at this sport. Sure, I may pick up some new shots but the trade off is that I'm physically declining. I felt it getting out of bed this morning.

After one more match with Monster Mike - we split the match - I was ready for the garbage. Home, shower, bed.....done.

I'll be at Havasu Falls Sunday through Wednesday. Pics to follow and surely some good stories.

CB

Everything you never wanted to know....

http://www.slate.com/id/2173033/


Happy Thursday............note that I didn't publish this on Hump Day.

Sports, Drugs & Morals?

Every cyclist I know is all up in arms over the fact that another NFL player was caught using HGH (That's Human Growth Hormone Mom), and he only got a 4-game suspension. Rodney Harrison is the guy, and he's a long-time veteran of the New England Patriots. The point is that if this had happened to a pro cyclist, it would have meant:
A) You get sacked (That's FIRED Mom)
B) Your income is gone
C) You get a 2-year ban

Seems like we have a little discrepancy when people say that Cycling is the 'dirtiest sport'. 'Roids and HGH are rampant if the NFL and have been for 20 years, don't let the number of positive tests fool you into thinking that there is little substance abuse in America's #1 game.

Here's the moral dilemma: Rodney Harrison is a highly respected player because he's been around a long time, he plays with reckless abandon, and he was probably trying to squeeze another year or two out of his body before he will inevatibly be replaced by a younger player. He knows his earning power is almost gone at the pro level, and he was willing to risk a 4-game suspension on drugs that would prolong his career. I can see both sides of this issue, but, cheating is cheating. I learned that from an Ex-wife who created a moral dilemma to justify her actions. I think, for Rodney, its about ego/pride and money. Rodney was just coming off a broken leg, he's in his late 30's and he just had to come back to prove to himself and everyone that he's still "THE MAN" and the fat payday helped justify the sacrifice he had to make.

Hey - it's the NFL where cartoon-like crashes are on ESPN within minutes of their occurence, where violence is praised, and where a sh*tload of money is bet every week. I don't think anything will change anytime soon.

Racquetball tonight, it's the first week of the fall league. We have 6 weeks of round robin play followed by the Tourney. I got my new racquet, and I am ready to play. 3 matches tonight followed by a sprint home to see the girls before bedtime. I'm ready for a stress reliever - work has been flat, revenues are stagnant, and we're all ready for a change in business levels.

Freaks & Geeks

The 11th Annual fantasy football draft was yesterday in scenic Lake Montezuma, AZ - at the local golf course. Some of the dudes in our league hit the sticks before the draft, and I have to say that it's probably one of the only golf courses in AZ where you see more mullets than polo-shirt wearin' cropped cut fat guys. I skipped the golf, as I usually do and rolled in for the draft at 1:30. It's always a good time - catching up with guys I only see once a year. This whole debacle started back in 1996 and I like it because its pretty much stayed the same since. We drink beer, talk smack, and overall, take it about as serious as we should. Meaning its fun to talk about on Sundays and every now and then we get into a good trashtalk session online about it.

I woke up this mornin' around 5:45 and was on the singlespeed by 6:05. Just so you know, the sun rises now about 6:10am. We really are losing light - and it was on the edge of cold - around 51 degrees. I climbed for 5 miles up Mount Elden's 2000' gain in my 32 x 18. Plenty of work for a Monday morning. Flip it - and down "endo trail" back home. No endo's today - thankfully.

Now - off to the pool with Squirty. September is here, and I can feel the days getting shorter and the temps falling. It'll be 68 for a high on Thursday with lows in the 40's. Damn.....summer went fast.

BROWN TROUT

So after dinner last night it was raining, but the dogs had not been out. D, Squirty and me hit the pavement for a long loop around the 'hood. About as 'hood' as it gets in Flagstaff is our quirky neighborhood of dumpy rentals, nice single family homes, condos, apartments with 90% of the population being white folk or Latinos. Not exactly a hood, but its our hood. So anyway, off we go, and about 1/4 of the way through, Lyza pulls the "I have to pee" card. We hit the woods, she takes care of business, and we're on our way. It has to be her favorite place to go to the bathroom. I think she'll be a good camper since I have yet to hear her say "ohhhh - gross, I want a toilet". So we amble on, and deep inside my lower abdomen grumbles - a lot. That transmits to my brain quickly....I'm 1/2 mile from home and if I don't find a bathroom ASAP its gonna be bad. I toss the dog leash to Lyza who stays with D - they are laughing as I take off down the road for home.

The problem is - that I can't run. I get hives on my legs if I have not been regularly running. It itches worse than you can imagine, and I have to stop and walk. So I'm racewalking the 1/2 mile home trying to tell the ol' sphincter that I'm not even close and to hold the dam - HOLD THE LINE BOYS - HOLD THE LINE!!! Says commander Shitski. Well the garage appears, I open it and sprint the final 50 feet to porcelain heaven. Let's just say it was as if I dumped a bucket of mopwater into the toilet. And then - it was over. WHEW. Cleaned the toilet, had a nice relaxing night after dropping 4 pounds of water weight, and slept like a baby.

I remember not making it once when I was in 4th grade. That has stuck with me as vividly as any of the other life changing events I have had in 39 years.

Have a nice weekend

OK - I thought the astronaut love triangle that included diapers, surgial tubing, and garbage bags was the story of the year....well, it still is. This guy though, is right up there. I have to say there is nothing funnier than a self-proclaimed Right Winger who has voted down nearly every gay-rights initiative is now feeling the pressure to tell us "I'm not gay". Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

I just want to say though, that this opened a whole new perspective for me, as I never knew the 'call signs', or the 'little signals' that you should use in mens restrooms to get your very own prison pounding. Did you see the cop who busted him? Talk about your sweet little Peter Pan looking face. You have to believe he was straight out of the Academy when Lieutenant Hard Ass looks at him and says "Johnson - you're on gay watch at the Minneapolis Airport restrooms. I need you to really dive into this, get to know these a**clowns, and take 'em down". So this poor cop gets to smell a ton of kids dropped off at the pool all day, while making himself look "available" so he can capture pervs? He should get a fat salary for that job.

Back to our esteemed public servant from Idaho. Hey - it happens in both parties - but there's nothing I like seeing more than a crusty conservative going down by committing acts that he steadfastly condemned. Isn't it ironic Alanis Morissette that he essentially voted down initiatives for his gay-self?

Got the Scalpel out on a 1.5 hour ride last night. We're losing daylight fast unfortunately. The bike feels like an extension of me right now, tuned and dialed in. Unfortunately I have to abandon it for 3 weeks to get ready for a road race on 9/23. The new frame is likely sold to a friend on my racing team. Bye bye Epic - it was nice having you on the stand in my garage.

A Chill Tuesday

A huge thanks to E-Force...for mailing me a brand new Lethal 175 after I mailed it in to them in sadder shape than this....That's Lance Brigg's Lamborghini BTW. E-Force has always been great about replacing broken rackets, but for them to send me a free one when the left side of the frame was crushed, well that's just great customer service. Racquetball starts again in 2 weeks and I'm now ready to play again.

I went to a very complex immigration seminar today. Arizona has to be the most ridiculous state with regards to the legislation that was passed this year. Basically, if you are tan and you work in the service industry, ag, construction, mining etc....then pack your bags. You'll be profiled as illegal - and for crissakes....employers are ON THE HOOK to lose their business license after a second violation. I hope the Feds pass some more reasonable sh*t soon. Otherwise, our guest workers in this state will move to New Mexico and California and I'll be paying some methe addict $27/hour to clean toilets. Sh*t (pardon the pun), maybe I'll take that job.

Road ride tomorrow morning @ 5:30am up Snowbowl and then in to work....I got the following on the Fall agenda. #1 will be a bitch. 20 miles, 5500 feet of vertical.
#1
#2

I couldn't have scripted it any better

OK - so up at 6:30am - breakfast/coffee, one last gear check and I am off to the race. The course was 20 miles, about 1,500 feet of vertical gain - in other words, not a brutal course. UP 3.5 miles of forest road to start, UP a very technical singletrack for 2.5 more miles, across another forest road for .5 miles, and the screamin' downhill for 3.5 miles on a trail that would make even the grumpiest rider LOVE this sport. Tight, twisty, jumps, banked turns.

I'm sitting in 2nd row and I planted myself behind a guy with a mullet who talked a big game, so I figured I could use him as a lead out. Race Director says GO!! - and I take the Josh Bartoszuk approach and flat out gun it. I'm in second through the first mile following Mulletguy and working hard, but not quite maxed out. Well - look to my right, and a teammate of mine, Guillermo (who won this event last year), goes rocketing past with two dudes who were just damn fast and working together taking pulls on the forest roads. I couldn't hold their pace - or that of a couple other guys, and slipped back to more of a comfort zone for my heart. We hit the singletrack, and I was in 7th. I picked and poked my way through the technical rock gardens and started reeling guys in as they fell on rocks, and overshot technical turns. At this point the course was wide open and we had little trouble making our way around the bottom third of the expert class and some of the slower singlespeeders who were being punished by the tight/rocky course. By the time we hit the downhill, I was in 5th, and I pushed the throttle open and blasted past the guys who dropped me on the road and into second place after lap #1 - about 1 minute down on Guillermo. I could see him, but barring him breaking down, I was racing for 2nd at that point. I may have looked strong coming through lap 1, but I was hurtin', but I went as fast as I could on the forest road, knowing the guys who blew my doors off on the forest road would be back. I didn't ease off, but I did make sure to load up on electrolytes knowing that I wouldn't drink another drop once I hit the singletrack. Sure as shit - as I am drinking down some Accelerade, the three guys I passed on the downhill come around me like they were shot from cannons. I cannot follow - no chance. Then another teammate passes me - and I'm now 6th heading into the singletrack, but I wasn't panicked.....I even got passed again - dropping into 7th.....Then I panicked and went as hard as I could. Once again, most of these guys were faster on the roads than the singletrack, and by the time we approached the downhill, I was in 4th - comfortably so - to the point where I could have sat up and coasted in 4th place. I was feeling chilled on an 80 degree day - meaning I was overheating., but I was only a couple miles out riding downhill - So I hit the gas again knowing that 4th doesn't get me on the podium, and when I did I felt a distinct cramp in my quadriceps. F*CK THAT SH*T - the finish/water cooler is less than 2.5 miles away.....so I kept gunning it full throttle. I passed 2 expert women, a bunch of beginners who were clogging the course, and finally came upon the 2nd place guy with 1/2 mile left and he didn't have a clue I was right on his ass.

I called out "On your right" and he gave me barely an inch to pass - not realizing it was me. I could almost hear his tires deflate a couple of psi as he realized he gave me the right of way to the finish line on a tight singletrack. I was fortunate to have a couple of tight turns left, and some loose sweeping turns because I lost him within 100 yards - looking over my shoulder at the top of a short climb to confirm that I had at least 5 seconds on him. Well - into the last turn 50 feet before the line. I looked back - he was now gone, and I rolled across the line in slow motion at 3mph tops.... relishing the first second place I have ever nabbed - and the cheers of support from a few teammates at the line. Only in hindsight did I realize I was completely wiped out. Dehydrated, cramped up - just spent.

Home/Shower/Endurox cocktail for recovery/Pick up Lyza/Kids race

She was pumped for her race, and she threw it down. The cool part was that we were able to get 5 friends in her 1st grade class to come out and race with her. She worked hard, rode carefully, but hard when she felt confident, and beat 4 classmates (all boys) and one neighborhood girl. She felt pretty good about it, and she was a great sport about it as well.

Huge grocery list/shop/ice/coolers for post party, but first awards ceremony

OK - so we go to the awards ceremony because we had a great team results....5 podiums including 3 first place finishes. I get my little trophy and some cash to spend at the local shop....cool. Then they do a raffle. Helmets, Camelbaks, etc. The last raffle item is a Carbon Specialized S-Works Epic frame, size L. The race director called out "And the winner is...C. Bosselmann" I won. It retails for $3,300. HOLY SHIT. I wouldn't even know what to do with this frame. I mean c'mon - a fully built up version of this bike is more than $6,500. That's like giving me a Ferrari to commute to work in.

So I go to our team party - and the host/teammate offers me a 29'er Soulcraft converted to a 1x9 with XTR/American Classic hubs-wheels + cash for the frame. The Soulcraft weighs probably 23 pounds at best. The only bike I don't have in my arsenal is a high end hardtail for race days. I'm gonna test ride it this week......because as Soulcraft frames say on the chainstays "built for speed".

Pictures to follow....

Just plain weird...

I've never done a race that is less than 10 miles from my front door. In fact, it's 5 miles from my front door.

I had a nice meal last night, slept in my own bed, woke up at a reasonable time, had a nice breakfast, and I'm thinking to myself, WTF? I'll hop on my bike in 45 minutes and ride over to the race course. This is so far removed from the typical:

Arrive to the race venue late on Friday night, go to sleep in a cold tent, wake up cold, eat some oatmeal concoction, pre-race warm up, and GO. There is something cool about camping though, and hanging out after the race.

After this one - I'll just ride home, take a shower, and head on over to our team party. This qualifies as a great late summer day - unless I get my ass kicked this morning.

Club Champ

I got it. Took out Timid Tim in the first round, survived Lefty Mike in the second round, and took down a very tired Young Mike the College Kid in the finals. Hey - at least I got a long sleeve T-shirt out of it. I think College Mike would have taken me, or we would of at least had a tough battle if he had not been so tired. That was the luck of my draw - I got the the finals well rested.

Bike race @ 9:15am tomorrow. Gooooooooooooo!

PART ONE.....of the rock and roll weekend

starts tonight.....club racquetball tourney commences at 6pm. Jean Short Jimmy - see you in the finals. I hope I can get that picture that Josh has out of my mind.

Don't have Kids unless......

You're 100% sure that you and your spouse will make it. Lyza - 6 years old - was sobbing last night, asking me "why did you and Mom have to break apart". It's a little too early to tell her that her Mom was a cheating liar ho-bag - I'll save that until she can handle the truth. Instead, you focus on whatever positives there are (2 families, 2 Christmas Days, 2 Spiderman Toothbrushes, etc....). Even if you are 100% sure, things can change overnight. So my statement holds about as much weight as her. I've heard that she'll get past this point, and then HAMMER me for the truth around age 10. I better start thinking about my response now.....

On a much more positive note - this morning was beautiful. A crisp 55 degrees, sunny, and I snuck in a 1-hour ride that was a great tone-setter for the day. The stress comes out through my tires....and by the end of the ride, the Wednesday forecast was looking great in my mind.

Work
Desntist Appoitment for Lyza
MTB ride with her at Campbell Mesa
Home for Dinner
Crash Out

Back to work - ugh.

Bride or Bridesmaid?

I'm not sure which is better, but I do know that no one remembers the bridesmaid unless she does kegstands and passes out on the curb. Even then - no one remembers her name - she's just "remember that chick......"

What I also know is that I have our Flagstaff Athletic Club racquetball league tournament this Thursday, and an MTB race on Saturday. I have a good shot at winning the racquetball tourney, and I have a reasonable shot at winning my age group in the MTB race. Pull a double? Maybe. Fall on my face and get crushed in both - hopefully not, but not totally out of the picture. ......not like I haven't done that before.

To say that I'm not thinking about these events this week would be a lie. The racquet is tuned, the bike is running great - and I REALLY want that MTB win some time in my life. I've never finished on a podium in my adult life. Racquetball comes easy to me for some reason, but winning MTB races has just been plain and simply unachievable. The only reason I think I can do this is because I know the course - it suits my strengths, and I know who I'm riding against. I dunno...I also completely doubt my chances on race day, and I tend to go too easy at the start in fear of blowing up. This time - I gotta hit the gas hard and just see what happens. Totally out of character for me, but I'm about 0-40 in the race win department - so its time to deploy a new strategy. All I want is to win my age group - but taking the class would be something sweet.

OK, Mr. selfish is done here. Back to work. I got mouths to feed.

photo courtesy of Ellen Jo.....who else?!

Plans always change...

My Sunday was looking good, until I had a semi-expected work commitment come through - unfortunately. I had a nice ride lined up, but, riding doesn't pay the bills.

We had a good weekend, plenty of time with Lyza - the two of us met up with D for dinner downtown last night, and before I knew it the day was done. D's new job is a trainwreck - which means it spills into other aspects of life. I feel for her - I've made a couple of bad job decisions in my life and they are often hard to recover from.

On the calendar:
8/25 - Absolute Bikes / Food Bank singletrack challenge
9:15 am ME
1:00 pm Lyza (kids race)

9/10 - Havasupai hiking trip with Dad/Uncle

10/6 - Epic Rides Tour of the White Mountains - 52 miles for me
Go HERE

The fall is shaping up nicely - now if we can just get D's job situation figured out.

Josh snapped a photo of Jean Short Jimmy

My Mp3

Is stuck in a time warp. See - I can't add or subtract tracks since it was purchased in 2001, and all of the fuctions except for VOLUME are working. So - I whipped it out the other night and realized, again, what a complete dipsh*t I am when it comes to music.

Did I choose any tracks on it from bands that people deem "good". Well - if you like(d) The Strokes, Good Charlotte, maybe a little Jay Z - well then you are good to go. The problem is that I also have The Bullet Boyz, Y&T, Lil' Kim, Default, and freakin' Aerosmith on there too. There's even a Mariah Carey/NAS rap song on there from the late 90's.

I distinctly remember riding, as a kid, in my Mom's 1980 or 1981 Chevy Citation. She spat out this music on a station in Minneapolis coded KS95. It would be the equivalent of today's AOR (Adult oriented radio). In other words, vanilla.....bland, crappy bands like The Captain and Tennille, The Carpenters, Barry Manilow, and even John Travolta's solo career. DAMN - no wonder my musical taste is warped.

Now I go to Itunes, and Napster - look at the "new music" and basically say to myself - WHO ARE THESE BANDS, as I frantically search for my comfort music from bands like Van Halen, Journey, Aimee Mann, and my all-time home girl Erykah Badu. I'm already projecting a date of June 12, 2009 when Lyza is riding in my car and says "Dad - why do you listen to this Rolling Stones stuff - they suck". Then I'll go into detail about their 1998 Bridges of Babylon tour, how great they were in the 60's and 70's, and once I finish my diatribe I'll look over and she'll have her I-Pod tuned to the latest reincarnation of Justin Timberlake........Justin who?

Jean Shorts Jimmy

So going back to last Thursday, I played a racquetball match against a guy who I named "Jean shorts Jimmy". I still don't know his name. Apparently, he was league champ last winter. I describe him as 6' 3", probably about 205 to 210, and no sh*t - he was wearing mid-thigh length jean shorts and some Nascar t-shirt. I had just had a Corona, and I had no idea who he was, or if he was good or not. He was good.

The first game went so fast my head was spinning. He got off to a 9-0 lead, and the game ended 15-9. He would announce the score like Micheal Buffer - you know - the famous ringside announcer. "Twwwwwwwelllve - Eiiiiiiight" or "12 over 8", or "12ski to 8ski". Five to Five was "I can't drive 5 to 5". It was funny for 3 minutes, and then I wanted to take his head off. I waxed him in the second game - 15-9. We were off for a tiebreaker.

Well the whole damn league stopped and watched us play on the glass court. We have identical games, and it went the distance. He prevailed when I made an honest mistake and thought we were playing to 15 when in fact we play to 11 on the third game. I lost 11-9. He was whooped, I was tired, and I'm looking forward to playing Jean Shorts Jimmy again.

On a bad note, I was so f'n sore the rest of the weekend from that max effort, that I rode like a wuss. Good thing we only did 30 miles on Sunday or I would have croaked.

Happy Monday Jean Short Jimmy

Remember when...

I threw down that stupid diatribe a couple of days back about selling the house, and working for charity? Well f*ck that. As my rich-ass friend Aidan once said sarcastically as he left a casino when we called him a pus*y for not doubling down on a 10 with a 6 showing "I got mouths to feed".

I also like my house. I like it so much I'd get a second job to stay there if I ever had to. It's 100 YARDS to one of the best singletrack networks in the state - hell - the southwest. It's 1 mile from Lyza's school, and its 1.5 miles to the front door of Dana's job. I'm a rambling liberal idiot sometimes....

So on that note, I love my new (used) Bimmer. It f'n flies, has a rockin' stereo, and it has a glossy silver plated license plate ring around a fat-ass BLING BMW logo in place of the front license plate. Watch me comin' in your rearview - that's right - motherf*cker.

I'm as confused as they come.....I can't wait to beat the shit out of a few dudes on the racquetball court tonight. 1:40 'till gametime, and then a couple of Corona's to wash down the day. YEAH baby.

Last Days of Summer Vacation

I took yesterday off (working Saturday to make up for it) and just hung out with Lyza. We went to watch the Arizona Cardinals practice in the AM, went for a bike ride on some easy singletrack with the dogs, hit the pool in the afternoon, brought her friend Jackson over for some dinner - and bam....day over.

She said: "Dad - I don't want you to get older like Grandma. Can you stay 39, and I'll stay 6....well maybe 10". I thought that was great. I'll always be 39 as far as I'm concerned.

School starts next week - and eventhough its not like we don't have fun everyday, its different on summer break. I hope I can remember this stuff since I already forget where the hell my wallet is every other week.

Racquetball tonight - I'm gonna take it easy so I can ride like a man posessed this weekend. Next race is the local single speed event on 8/25. Lyza is in the kids race. Good times!

Time may change me, but I can't change time

Sold the Jetta TDI today - 4 years after I bought it new. Loved it - I'll get another one if the Good Ol U S of A starts selling clean diesel fuel.....
Registering the ultra-used BWM 525I tomorrow. 250K on it - but it drives like a dream
Took the extra cash and paid down the Subaru.

I'm sick of cars being such a big part of my financial life. What a waste of money and finite resources.

I have an idea, and I'm really starting to think more about it. Sell the house, buy a modest condo/house and put enough down on it to have an ultra cheap-o house payment. Work 32 hours a week for money + one day for charity.

What the hell has happened to me? Let me just say that working to put money in other people's pockets is becoming more and more shallow everyday. It's becoming clearer each day as to what I should do to get off this train, but I have a ways to go before I can figure this out.

Time is ticking by, but in the big picture - slowly. Regardless, when and will I even have the stones to go against everything I believed in up until a few years ago? The great thing is that D would support me 100%. I need to think about this for a while.

Lyza is back to feeling great after her tooth infection- healthy and happy. She's one of the brightest stars in my sky. I pulled out her first tooth at the bank today - yup, just reached in and yanked it out after she mocked me to try and pull it. She laughed out of initial shock, and if I could have captured the astonishment on her face - I could have sold it as a great picture. Work sucked today, but I forgot about it in that very instant.

I am my Dog

Labs play until it isn't fun anymore. Our dog Jamocha, just sits down under a tree when its too hot or too far. That's kinda how I race bikes.

Saturday's start was moved to the base of Purgatory Resort, meaning another 200' of climbing at the gun. Only 65 riders showed up this year - and based on the vibe, I think this event is dying. Word has spread that it's either too muddy or too cold. Well - I enjoyed the start this time. I was feeling good, I passed my fair share of riders on the climb and didn't get passed, and hit the 2-track road in the first 3rd of the group. The 2-track felt great, and I rode with a couple of guys who were cool enough to chat while we pounded out 8 miles on the road. Then - as usual - it all went to hell.

The next singletrack section is just 2 miles long. But its uphill to 11,000 feet, and the trail WAS a stream. Water was everywhere, and although the mud wasn't sticky, it wrecked disc brakes, sealed bearing cartridges were sealed no more, and in general - everyone's drivetrains were trashed. I got to the checkpoint at mile 16, and as I was finishing eating and lubing my chain, my bud Jeff from Sedona rolled in. This was his first start, and he was lookin' good. I rolled out as he rolled in, and didn't see him again until the finish area.

I'd describe the rest of the ride in detail, but, that would be a waste. It was rocky, wet, muddy, and I had a singlespeeder using me as a pacemaker for 12 miles straight. Fortunately, you get to descend the ski slope that you climb at the begnning, and that is always awesome. I passed a couple of dudes who were tumbling down the mud/roots, and finished in 4 hours 39 minutes - 1 minute off my best time at the event. I believe I was the 20th person across the line after the first lap out of 65. I beat Jeff by 25 minutes, which I get to give him sh*t about now for the rest of the year. Considering the mud, and the fact that I'm 4 years older that when I posted my best time - I felt pretty damn good. I had no interest in going back up that slope for another lap. Bottom line...the FUN was over.

People who thrive at these events, love to suffer. They love to finish what they started regardless of how long it might take. I have a lot of admiration for them.

I like to suffer while I race, but after a certain point - its not a race anymore and its just a matter of battling your own psyche. My psyche said "Enjoy the rest of the day". My psyche is weak, and I like that. I know I could have finished a second lap in under 5.5 hours, but I also know that I would have been bitter doing it. Instead, I hit the hot springs down the road, napped for 2 hours, and had a great stir-fry dinner.

Next event - the locals only race for pride and no prizes around Fort Valley on 8/22. 26 miles, all fast - maybe 2 hours of riding max. I can't wait!

Squirty had a nerve infection under a tooth - poor thing looked like a squirrel with about 10 acorns in her left cheek. We got her hooked up with antibiotics, some food she could eat, and some rest - and I rolled into work at 5pm as a result.

Haven't packed sh*t for Durango

Bike needs some tuning

I haven't eaten or had enough to drink today

Good thing I'm not getting paid to ride - rather - this race will cost me about $8 per mile once I figure in lodging, gas, food, entry fee etc for D and I. That's kind of a sick way to look at the fact I'll be hurtin' after this one. I could think of some better ways to spend $512, but then again, some ancient philosopher once mumbled "great suffering brings to light all the sh*t you should be doing better and taking more responsibility for". I made that up, but maybe I'll get something out of this besides a medal for finishing in under 12 hours, saddle sores, and a broken down bike.

Goal = 10 hours
I would do cartwheels if I finish in 9:30.
I'll take a victory lap around the parking lot ass-naked if I (butt) crack 9 hours.

Race report on Monday....

The Jetta is gone - sold....and I found this sweet ride in its place. My insurance went up a bit...

5 Days 'till....

SLOW Friday

It's Lyza's birthday today - 6 years old. The party is tomorrow at the athletic club pool. 7-10 kids plus parents should be close to controlled mayhem. I can't believe she's 6 already. More on the pool bash tomorrow.

I put in an easy 1-hour effort this morning on the singlespeed. 2 hours tomorrow, and 4 hours Sunday and that's it for training for the Durango race. Next week will consist of a 1-hour ride each day (M-Th) on the road bike at a very moderate pace. I will need the rest.

D's last day at Gore is today. Wow. Leaving the corporate life for a small shop downtown. Fortunately - she works for the Patagonia - which means PRO DEAL. No bennies, not a lot of pay, but a great work environment. She's excited about it and so am I.

Have a great weekend

Professional sports have officially "jumped the shark" for me. Gone are the days of 'incredible achievements', and players being role models. The only glimmer of these attributes remains every 4 years at the amateur events of the Olympics. Steroids, blood doping, testosterone injections, and off the field/court legal issues have pretty much stolen the headlines. The thought of Michael Vick being involved in dog fighting makes me want to hang his ass Middle-East style. Kids and Dogs are off limits as far as I'm concerned. You don't mess with them because they can't or don't know when to defend themselves.

Sure, there are some incredible achievements, and some athletes probably could be role models - but how do you know? When Vino tested positive for blood doping yesterday at Le Tour de France, I just wanted to barf in my mouth and swallow it back down to recreate the sting. The guy had attained a status as a never-say die rider who always put his best effort out there. He didn't always win, but he went as hard as he could. Maybe the pressure to win got to him, and he caved by doping.

So, just remember its only entertainment. Putting athletes on pedestals is unfair to us and them.

Li Lo (aka Lindsey Lohan) taken - ta da! This morning at 1:34am. That's what a BAC of .13 plus a few grams of Coke and not a lot of sleep will do to ya...

Top 5 trainwrecks of 2007

1.) Mr. President

2.) Lisa Marie Nowak

3.) BALCO Boy

For which I have to say, he may be the HR King, but Hank Aaron will always be the standard bearer of the record until A-Rod the 32+ million dollar man breaks it.

4.) Li Lo (see above)

5.) Paris (you know the one I mean)

On a better note, did you watch the debate last night? It was nice alternative to a white guy in a suit lobbing questions for candidates to duck, but it was a little too hokie for later this year and into January when the running gets serious. Good fun. I can't wait to see the Republicans (guess what - 8 white guys in suits!) when they get You-Tubed in September.

On to Wednesday....

http://ibelievevino.com/

Check it out....

There was a break in the weather this morning...

As in, it actually stopped raining for more than 6 hours. So, rather than get up early and go to work, I got up early and hopped on my bike. Yeah - imagine that. So I go explore a new set of trails I had heard about, but had never ridden, It was one of those days where I wasn't amped up to ride as hard as I could - so taking it a little slower on some new terrain was just the ticket. Riding some new singletrack that paralleled Snowbowl road, I came across a group of maybe 8-10 deer. They were following the same trail I was on, and always stayed about 50-100 feet in front of me looking back every 15 to 20 seconds to make sure I wasn't getting too close. Their movement was as effortless as an American with a shopping cart and less than 10 minutes in a Wal-Mart, cutting and dashing at will. Eventually, they let me pass by heading up the hillside and I was kinda sad to see them go. It was kind of foggy like that opening scene in Gladiator - with a bunch of deforested sections where they were thinning the forest for new growth. The deer only added to the surreal feeling of being on a movie set.

I was then dumped back onto my regular trail network, and hit the Sunset climb with eveything I had - and then continued up up up up to the sky. Coming down featured two non-catastrophic wrecks due to being over confident on some rough stuff. Cocky? Yeah. I learned from that with the rash on my legs, and the dent on the back of my helmet.

The Cannondale is riding tight - just an all around great bike. I'm way more careful on it than when I ride the singlespeed because its just a lot more fragile. Pivot points, proprietary suspension, carbon/aluminum/plastic frame mix, and....well....after the upgrade it wasn't cheap. 10 days until pain to the 9th degree at the MTB 100 in Durango. I can't say I'm not a LOT nervous about it.

So here I am at work, paying the price for that 3+ hour stomp this morning. I'll have to hang around until 8pm to get my sh*t done. 6:30 if I decide to bail and make up the difference tomorrow. 5:30 if I say F*ck it and just go home. I think I might opt for door #3.

A good night on the racquetball court, as I beat a lefty and a guy with a cannon forehand - but not a lot of fitness. That's 4 matches, 4 victories, and a tourney coming up in 4 weeks. I love this game.

I'm ready for the weekend and its only 9am. My sister gets to go back home to Minnesota for 2 weeks starting today. Lucky duck. Although, its pretty nice here now that we have the rainy season in full swing.

PHAT Singlespeed ride planned for tomorrow - 5 hour funfest starting at 5am. Solo. Its kinda my religion, ya know?...

Enjoy the weekend...

From Big Jonny - - - - THIS. Play the video but pee first and have nothing in your mouth, unless you’re a young Republican, then we know what you have in your mouth.

2 hours on the C-dale last night straight up and then straight down. For some reason, I like my bike again. Happy Freakin' Thursday

It's amazing what a couple of hours in the saddle - after work - will do for my head. The sun does shine, I'm not going to take someone's head off tomorrow on the r-ball court, and I have a new revised schedule for Lyza that should make all of our lives better.

That ride last night worked me, and I'm wondering how I'll survive 10 hours in Durango - as 6 hours has been my longest hard effort this spring/summer but, who cares?! I've got a good bike, gels and bars, and E-caps to get me through. All I need is a shot of EPO and I'm there. OK - not really, but it wouldn't hurt.

Went out to Thai last night with D. Good food, a 22oz Kirin.....nice.

Mr. Brightside:
-D's last day here is on 7/27
-We're scaling back and getting ride of this - I'm all about carbon emission reduction, and I might even get one of these
-Squirty goes back to school on 8/16 (month out)
-It has actually rained here 4 of the last 5 days
-I am ready to rage on the racquetball court tomorrow
-My singlespeed continues to be the rockstar bike - ZERO, zippo, nada, zilch repairs/flats/ other than two new sets of brake pads since October and more than 1000 miles on the original tires.

Mr. Bitter:
-Squirty is having some anxiety about going back and forth from parent to parent....I KNEW this was coming soon.
-I'm feeling the effects of pushing a big gear, and I need to drop to a 32x19. It's just a pride thing - nothing more.
-For the first time this year, riding a bike feels like a chore - an effort - it truly is time for a couple months off after Durango on 8/4.

Oh there's more, but at least you know what's in my cabeza today.

I pretty much suck right now....

Racquetball tore up my calves and core muscles so bad that I haven't been on a bike in 4 going on 5 days. Flat out - I can't push the pedals. Then I do recover some today, so I go for a night ride and I get maybe 3/4 of a mile from my house and have a mechanical. Back home, fix it in the garage, and do you think I'm motivated to get back out? Fu&k no.

R-ball again this Thursday, and no - I'm not quitting. I'm also not quitting the Durango race in a few weeks. F'n quitters suck, and I've quit enough stuff to know that it just makes me feel like a sack o' shit for doing it. I can get my shwerve back tomorrow....I think so anyway. Into work at 6am and home on my bike by 3pm. Yeah - now that sounds like some healing tonic.

I'm Back..

Back on the racquetball court that is. It's been nearly one year to the day that I last played - and now I realize how much I missed that sport. I joined a league, and showed up last night with a lot of energy, but that was about it. My body has morphed into a cycling-specific shell of its former self, and I was hurtin'. We play two matches per week, and my first one was with probably the 4th best player in a 10 person league. I fared pretty well in the first game, and took the win - at the expense of shaky legs, and cramping hips. I kind of tanked the second game once I got behind, and saved myself for the tie-breaker game which I won 11-2. I walked off the court with crampy, tight, and twitchy leg/hip/back muscles. Fortunately, my second match was against a very intermediate player so I was able to just keep the ball in play and let him make mistakes for an easy 15-5, 15-3 match win.

I can't believe how out of balance I am. Yeah, I can ride a bike, but Jesus - ask me to do anything else and I'll be as sore as you can imagine the next day. The good news is that this is a 1x per week league, so by the third week I should start to feel good again. I'm kind of trying to get a jump start on the fall/winter leagues and tournaments since I am ready to give bike riding a rest after the August 4th event in Durango.

So, I'm undefeated so far - I think I'll just bask in that glory for now. Next week I'll be playing one of the top 2 guys, and unless I pull one out of my a**, I'll probably lose a couple of games.

I have some big rides planned this weekend which I'm excited about. Lyza B is around all weekend and next week, so that's cool. D might be leaving her post soon - so big transtions in the Bosselhousehold.

Hey - have a good weekend - and your PIC o the Day for Friday!

So this is what your face looks like if you have a 29% approval rating? If you were a football player and 29% of the coaches thought you should play - then you would ride the bench. If I had a 29% approval rating at work, I would be fired. If you received 29% of a vote, you would lose.

So tell me - why are 1 out of every 4 Americans still saying he's doing a good job? Another question, why has it taken so long to GET to a 29% approval rating. I love his most recent power play where he's placed a gag order on the proceedings to investigate the fired US attorneys. Good times in the Black House.

I can't wait for 2008 - actually, January 20th 2009 to be precise.

More importantly, I can't wait until Saturday, August 4th.....Durango, here I come!

Where do I start? What a great weekend. Photo #1 is D with 1/2 of a Clif bar in her trap...we were on the uphill side of a long, hard ride in the Dixie National Forest in southern Utah.

Photo #2 is of the bird sanctuary outside of our room in Boulder, UT. Sweet serenity for me.

Photo #3 is my wasted face after I don't know how many miles of climbing and descending - I was even more tired than I looked, but it was a good tired - you know - the kind that makes you want to eat a 2 pound burrito, and vomit at the same time. Yeah, that good kind of tired. I bet I could have placed 5th in that Coney Island hot dog eating contest after that ride, but I would have taken top honors in the vomit volume contest.

Photo #4 is the top of the pass heading down then towards Capitol Reef National Park. We started climbing at 6,400 feet - and 11 miles later - VOILA! 9,600 feet. The 8% grades hurt me, but D said "I just can't go that slow" and pedaled on past me to take the KOM points at the top...grrrr.

Photo #5 is the new dawgg - Bodhi. I named him after this guy because he's 3-toned and he's kinda small, but D liked the name and decided that it meant this. I agreed to meet in the middle since I'm about as spiritual as your next door Agnostic, and D is into the yoga stuff. It's all good. He's a great dog, and a hella fun to have around with our old dog Jamocha.

#6 is Lyza after a hard day of playing. You could say she falls asleep like this about every night.

#7 is D and Lyza re-enacting a rat that they chased out of our kitchen. A rat you say? Yeah - I said the same damn thing. We live in a city with about 7% humidity year round - and I can count the field mice I have seen in the forest after a rain. Turns out, it was a neighbor's pet. Lyza and D scared it so bad, we think it had a heart attack on the front lawn and died in a pool of sprinkler water less then 1/16" deep. Kinda tragic really....but the re-enactment cracked me up.

Shit! 4 weeks until Durango. I better keep on keepin' on. Actually, I'm feeling pretty good about my chances and I'm in pretty good shape right now. I may look like crap, but I can ride kinda fast for 3-4 hours. I hope you're having a great summer - this one has been memorable so far for us.

NIGHT MOUNTAIN BIKE RIDING

Probably one of my favorite things to do. I had a chance to get out tonight for a couple of hours in pitch black. No moon until the last 5 minutes of the ride, as it crept over the eastern side of Mount Elden. If you have ridden at night you know that all you can focus on is what is 2-10 feet in front of your front wheel. I find it is very relaxing, as it limits your senses, slows you down a click or two, and really lets you listen to your heartbeat, your breathing, and of course - wildlife.

A few years back I was on a solo night ride in Sedona. As I came around a corner, I practically ran over a couple sleeping on the trail. It scared me just as much as them. Lately, the only things I run across are branches breaking from critters running for cover from my high beam, an occasional reflection from an animal's eye - which always raises the ol' heart rate, and every now and then I get to see city lights from the passes in the mountains.

I wouldn't have won any races tonight at my steady pace up the 2000 climb - up and over Mount Elden, but damn if I didn't just absolutely LOVE being out there. I mean honestly, if I got clipped tomorrow, my 'last ride' would have been a good one to end on. 16 miles, all singletrack, and not a soul around.

Time for bed - up early, and off to Utah for the weekend. I can't f'n wait to hike in and around the rivers, and road ride up the passes for 3 days. We're going here - where we got married last summer. Woo hoo! Have a safe 4th weekend...

Rode the new Lefty....loved it. It's as plush as my couch, and tracks like a beast. The problem is that it's hooked up to a bike with 26" wheels.

I love my Rig again. More on the weekend soon....

MONDAY - BLUDDY MONDAY:

We get to hear 'confessions of a German doper' on Monday.....can't wait. His name is Jorg Jashke and he will have a major press conference on Monday. He'll name names, riders will get yanked from the Tour de France, and, well, at least we'll have a start list that is as legit as it can be. I'm all for it.

http://www.velonews.com/news/fea/12503.0.html

I follow cycling now with almost a cartoon-like view of the "amazing" feats these top guys pull off on climbs that would break most good riders into submission. I still think its fun to follow, but I'm a little jaded about the whole thing.

You wanna see a real human triumph? Remember the Julie Moss 1982 Ironman Triathlon finish? She was 20 minutes ahead going into the marathon, and by the end she lost control of her bowels, crawled to the finish line on all fours with feces all over her legs - and was passed 31 seconds before she finished - she ended up in second place. THAT was a triumph, and for your viewing pleasure I have linked it here:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=tRB1p89k7_I

So Josh - when you are pushing your Supercaliber this weekend, make sure to leave it ALL on the course...and I mean everything including your breakfast, lunch, and dinner....good luck!

CB

The owner's meeting is over. Facts:
-I woke up with a nice case of 'rhea and got to hang on to it all day
-Sweated through my 'jersey' - aka dress shirt like I rode 50 miles off road
-Developed cramps in my legs as the onset of a cold took its toll
-Came home, slept for an hour, and now the cramps are gone and I have a headache and a stuffy nose.
-I still have a job

Jesus Focker, you would think that I would explode if I encountered a real problem. Doing a dog and pony show for the owners is always stress-laden....and because it was hotter than hell today, that made it much worse. Then - I get Lyza and she's a trainwreck from too many activities and a bunch of junk sh*t food with her Mom. She collapsed around 6pm - woke up - had a bath, ate dinner, and was suddenly a new person again. She just went down for the night at 9:30pm.

No Goddamn bike yet from the shop in Cottonwood. It should be ready tomorrow though. I'm dying to ride the revamped machine. My knees are sore from that 50K+ effort on Saturday, which tells me that my single speed days are probably numbered. I've been riding that pig for months now, and I'm now starting to break down.

What else - I kicked the dog, beat the wife, and put a tear in my beer. My week sounds like a damn country music song.

BIG owner's meeting tomorrow. These things always suck. I put on a pound of deodorant/anti-persp and still soak the shirt. Instead of focusing on the fact that we're making a boatload of cash for the owners, they nitpick things like water pitcher sizes, fitted sheets that don't fit an oversized mattress (duh?) and what we carry in the gift shop. Every now and then I get a bone, a stroke of some sort, but the rest of the time its just expected. I freakin' shower my crew with positive comments and such. Oh well, just keep my schedule flexible and throw me an occasional spiff and I'm cool wit dat. Maybe if I had any semblance of ambition I'd work for myself, but for crissakes, the Grand Hotel burned me out of working hard for the rest of my life - so forget that. My 5 years there was like doing hard time.

I have no races or events the next couple of weeks - so I have to rely on self discipline to train, and that is always a disaster. Family time, desserts, beer, and actual work get in the way every time. I do admit to riding my trainer in the garage this morning watching the 2004 Tour so I could get some ride time in since Lyza was asleep and D was gone. I know - it's 75 out and I'm a loser for even dusting the trainer off.

SEE ya

Kind of a Fu*ked Up Week

So squirty is out of school, and summer camp doesn't start for 2 weeks. That means swimming lessons at 10:30am, dragging her down to work for a few hours a day, putting her to bed around 9, and back on the computer at the "home office" for a few hours. You know what that means....when I get bored, its www.velonews.com, www.cnn.com, www.sevencycles.com, and www.drunkcyclist.com. Good times! Of course, I have to throw some sh*t on my friend's blogs too.

I got an e-mail today from a blast from the past friend named Marcus Erectus (that was what we called him 'cause it rhymed). Dude lives in Madison, WI. I met him at NAU when we were in college in the late 80's. He's smart, has a hottie ultra-loyal yoga instructor trophy wife, 3 perfect kids, a red Dodge Caravan for road trips, and he runs a high profile think tank organization that specializes in auditing, and consulting for credit unions. The kid was a total f*ck off golden boy in College, and you just knew he would do "well" by the typical standards of success. I didn't know how to take his e-mail because he was hitting me up for a room quote - almost like a request for proposal - and gloating over the fact that his 8-year old was just at a week-long Chinese immersion "camp" at a private University in Minneapolis.

I read that, and just said "What the f*ck"? Chinese immersion camp? Is that like some cooking school? Ahhhh, I knew exactly what it was/is and it even further distanced me from these successful peers I have been referring to. Jesus Christ, I wouldn't even think for a second to place Lyza B in an immersion camp at age 8. Maybe a summer camp where she can make cool stuff, play outside, and play a ton of games. I'm probably reading too much into it - I'm sure the Chinese camp is loaded with food/language games/physical games etc.....it just seems so....snotty. Oh and at the end he threw in this line "Oh, and I'm running my first marathon in October". OK Mr. everything....is there anything you haven't mastered? I just want to hire him and get some photos of his perfect wife banging him. That'll take him down a notch.

Time for bed. THIS is ready for pickup tomorrow. It'll be like Christmas is June - and YES Josh, Ellen, Jeff, Big Steve, and A to the E - I'm gonna ride the 100K at Purgatory. You know why? Because I will never hear the end of it from you f*ckers if I take the easy route and ride the 50K. Here's to hell on wheels, a sore back, and a few saddle sores - -Mom, I want some butt butter for Christmas, OK?

Holy 5 Hour Ride Batman

JD came up and we rode from 7:30 - 12:30. Something a little over 50K. It was everything I expected and more. No flats, no mechanicals, and I kept up with him on my SS while he rode the gears....that felt great. The good news is that I'm gaining confidence for the 100K ride in Durango next month. MMMMMMMMMmmmmmm Colorado - can't wait to go. I'm gonna keep it real low key and camp in the parking lot at Purgatory....bring all my own food, and just lay low. It'll take me 10 hours to ride 100K on that course. Just thinking about it is pretty intimidating to me, especially since I've quit after 50K on 2 previous attempts.

Scott is rolling into town on his motorcycle in a few minutes. The dude works for a company that gives you a 1-month sabbatical after 10 years of service. I would seriously stay at my resort that long just for that benefit. How cool. We'll get the scoop on his motorcycle trip tonight.

Have you seen Little Children? Check it out on DVD - it's kinda Magnolia-ish.

I'm tired and rambling. more later

Day 2 of no subscription to the Wall Street Journal....you see, we went to a Solstice party last night, and my RIG needed a little bit o' work before the EPIC ride tomorrow soo........I decided that as much pressure as there is to be a 'normal' adult, I just don't have it in me. My professional peers go to Chamber of Commerce events, volunteer at their kids schools, they drive really huge SUV's, have huge homes, and they dress like they walked out of a J-Crew catalog. My friends and I wear crusty T-shirts and flip flops, read headlines only and bullshit the rest, have strong work ethics - but - work because we have to, we joke about things like net worth and portfolios, and we play as much as we can. I guess my point is if I die in a Masters 55+ bike race then I'm covered financially. If I live much longer than that, I'm f*cked. Allright, its not that bad - but I feel like that when I talk to my peeps like Big Mike and Marko who have 200K in their 401K's......of course, they also look like The MICHILIN MAN.

I have a huge, phat, phun ride planned for tomorrow morning with my Sedona homie JD. He's bringing his new Ibex mail-order bike up for a romp through the forest. We're both getting ready for the Durango marathon bike event in August, and this 4 hour pounding will help get us there. I'll probably need a couple shots of espresso after the ride just to stay away until 7pm. Unless we have a massive mechanical issue it should be a great ride.

I better go get the WSJ subscription done before I forget....

Yup - I got real far with that big talk about getting a subscription to the Wall Street Journal and getting up to speed on politics. After a long day at the office, I went home last night, washed the remnants of a paintball off the side of my car (I got blasted on the way down to Phoenix), got some Thai food, gave Dana a massage for her birthday - crashed out. OK - so maybe I'll get up and write my politicians, and read the WSJ, right? Wrong....I took advantage of the perfect summer weather and the long day (Summer Solstice) and rode up to the top of Snowbowl road with Dana. We were both sandbagging at the bottom, you know, saying stuff like "I'm just gonna take it easy today"..."I'm spent from last week"....yeah right. I punched it on the first part of the climb - she caught me on the flat - I punched it on the next climb, and held her off by a minute over the next 4 miles of the climb. 6.2 miles, 39.5 minutes, 2000 feet of gain, heartrate average of 173. Yeah - I worked my ass off. The scary thing is that D was only a minute back with an average heart rate of 159. That means if she really throws it down, I'm toast.....as in toasted cheese, the stuff you eat in Wisconsin and wash down with Rhinelander beer.

So much for the Wall Street Journal - I'll get on that tomorrow....or the next day.

I just rolled back into Flagstaff after an immigration seminar. I learned that I am pathetic. I couldn't even name my 3 State Legislators - you know - the guys who go to Washington on my State's behalf and actually VOTE to make changes in our country. I learned that the best publication I could read on a daily basis is the Wall Street Journal. I also learned some very interesting polling statistics about this issue, and how it is only a Top 5 issue when it is presented. What I mean by that is if you ask 100 random people what their concerns are with the candidates for the 2008 election, things like jobs, health care, Iraq etc finish WAY ahead of immigration. However - if you give a polled person a list of 5 things to choose from (including immigration) - immigration ends up being in the top 3.

Net result - I'm spending $99 to subscribe to the WSJ's online service for a year, and I'm sh*tcanning my subscription to Sports Illustrated. That mag has gotten stale for me since I don't watch sports on TV anymore. I'm also determined to write one letter a month to our state reps to let them know what I'm thinking. They may give me a canned response 11 times, but I'll live for that one personal response that I was heard.

For the record, my stance on immigration is this: Let 'em into the country, and fine employers severely if they are not setting up non-citizen labor as legitimate employees - which will assure that they are paying taxes and they paying our social security fund for for US CITIZENS only. In short - no under the table employees. As non-US Citizens they are not entitled to any Social Security benefits, and they cannot vote. They should be allowed to place their US-born children in schools because they are citizens - and these children qualify for any state healthcare/assistance programs. Any non-citizen should not be denied emergency medical treatment - but that's it. The essence is this - immigration is not a problem, it is a migration of people due to socio-economic issues, and this has been going on since the beginning of time. We should embrace this, and also offer those that contribute positively to the US a reasonable path to citizenship - say something like 10 years.

On a better note, I squeezed in 50 miles of road riding in the wee hours of the morning and evening when it was below 110 degrees in Satan's Lair that most people refer to as Phoenix. I'm kinda in a state of flux as I'm losing motivation to train, but I have a hella-hard event coming up on August 4th.

We just returned from a great family vacation in Minneapolis over the past week. Things could not have been better really, which put a big fat smile on my face the entire time. We rolled down to Phoenix last friday night, and stayed in a hotel. We ravaged the pool, the hot tub, the beach balls, and hooted and hollered until it closed at 11:00pm. Up the next day, not too early, and we took a cab to the airport. Stuff I take for granted like taxis - just thrilled Lyza. It was cool to see her perspective on a 'fun' cab ride. The flight(s) (connection in Denver to Mpls) were pretty good, although Dana and I got green in the face on the first one as the plane hit windshear outside of Denver. I couldn't WAIT to get off that plane.

We spent the week entirely with family in the cities. We skipped the cabin up north - and just played at the beach on Lake Minnetonka, took the speedboat out nearly every day and evening, played wiffleball, and ate like kings. D and I rented a couple of road bikes from nearby Penn cycle, and rode 3 mornings - around 120 miles total - just soaking up the low elevation air, the GREEN landscape, and the great lake and farm roads that had nice shoulders to ride safely on. It made me realize just how bike friendly MN is compared to AZ.

We had a ton of laughs, and everyday started with the attitude of "hey - its nice out, what should we do today?". We had no planned destinations, no "must sees", and it felt great to play that way.

We came back late last night, and crashed again in Phoenix. Up early, and we dropped Lyza off at her Mom's. I'm kinda having a little male post-partum as I miss that little kid a lot. However, it sure feels good to be home, to give the dogs some much needed attention, and to celebrate our 1-year wedding anniv.

The pics up top tell the story pretty well. Happy Father's Day to y'all.

CB

Thursday Ramblings

For those of you who don't follow pro road cycling, you should. Its better than any reality or talent show simply because it's real. You have incredible athletes throwing everything they have ever worked towards into the wind by following their team doctor's 'recommendation' to use performance enhancing drugs. Let's just say there is a lot of pressure to win - and to win - you have to cheat (see Lance Armstrong). Just today, Quickstep gets raided, and former Belgian star Frank Vandenbrouke - fresh off of being busted with EPO and roids but claimed they were for his dog (seriously - he said that) - barely survives a suicide attempt. You can't get this on TV, only in pro cycling.

It was nice to see John McCain stand out on a stage of white male puppets. If I select anybody other than Hillary, Obama, or Bill Richardson, it would be John McCain from the GOP side.

Road ride tomorrow morning, and then off to Minnesota for a week. I'm looking forward to spending a lot of time on the lake, a lot of time eating, and hopefully we can score some Hamms Beer. Because "When you're out of Hamms, you're out of Beer."

Wish my Scalpel well tonight - she's getting a new rack up front (front fork), and some liposuction on her legs (lighter wheelset)........Oh, and she's also getting some Lipo on the back end too with a new wheel and hub. She may not be young, but she's still a looker.

DROPPED

So I rolled into the new shop in Cottonwood to get my Scalpel updated for the new millenium - and lo and behold there's a Cat 3-5 group ride going off at 4:30pm....I had my roadie with me, and quick change, and I'm in the 7 man group riding out of Cottonwood in 90 degree temps. Of course, the warm up was 4 minutes, and the boys hit the first hill hard. We then went into a paceline to give 3 young riders (ages 15-19) a chance to work as a group. We were heading up to Sedona on 89A at a 22mph clip - my heart rate was in the mid 160's - I was doing OK knowing we had some downhill coming up.

Off of 89A and we plunge into Page Springs, and the attacks start. I got used like a rented mule after a pull through, and 3 dudes rocketed past me while 3 fell off the back as I chased. Net result - no man's land. I wasn't strong enough to hang with the 3's, but I was ahead of the 5's. I guess that makes me a 4.....a hurtin 4, because I was hurting pushing 170 on the heart rate o' meter. We regrouped after a climb, and then cruised back to Cottonwood where I got dropped by everyone on a climb out of Cornville. I blamed that on the heat, and primarly, the fact that I couldn't hang. I guess that makes me a Cat 5 again. F*ck it - it was hard work, I loved it, and I was competing with guys that are better than me on the road which is always good fun.

THESE will be added to the Scalpel this week....The financial subcommittee (D) approved the budget variance based on the fact that "it brings you great joy and it keeps you in shape". Of course, the sales pitch for the Mavic Crossmax SLR's was shot down, since you can get relatively the same amount of joy from a set of XM819's....but I'm good with that - I'm just excited about going tubeless with a quality valve on the 819's. Oh - that means new tires too....

The Scalpel - 2007 rebirth coming to a trail near you soon.

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. I got your Corporate Motivation right here.

9:15pm, Thursday, May 31st

My chance to exercise finally after working, kids, house chores......."When you stop taking chances, you stop living" Not Aristotle, not Socrates - but Laird Hamilton, pro sufer. I think his quote is somewhat accurate, regardless, it was my mantra last night:

Road bike, Snowbowl Road, Full moon - no lights on my bike
The moon lights up the landscape so brightly in sections that it seems as though headlights are shining onto the road and into the trees
I went up the 10K climb quietly, moderately, and let my eyes adjust to the night
no cars
no people
But I could feel the elk and the deer watching me - as twigs broke and leaves rustled on the sides of the road. 50 minutes to the top...
At the top it was cold, so I quickly turned around and went down
rode the brakes a bit and carefully looked out for those animals so I didn't hit one - or so they didn't hit me
What is normally a 10 minute descent at 40mph took 13+ minutes - I was just fine with that as I watched for rocks and debris like a hawk.
Past the wildlife and on the homestretch I came across the real threat that night...jackass kids racing their cars on the 1-mile straightaway that marks the start of the climb. I was one of them once, so I didn't curse or yell. I just moved over, stopped and waited for them to finish.
Back to the car, warm, safe, a moderately risky ride, but man did I feel alive.