Friday

Modern Day Shakesperian Lyrical Poets

I'm ready for Funday Saturday. Racquetball went well last night. I pasted Softball Scott. The dude tore both of his hammies playing......are you ready for this.....SOFTBALL. Running the bases. Anyway, he has a cannon forehand, but he can't move much anymore, so I mercilessly just ran him from forehand to backhand and mixed up serves so he had a hard time getting to the balls. He started calling 'screens' and 'hinders', but it didn't matter.

Speaking of Hinder - could this be the single worst band in the history of Rock n' Roll. Check these deep, thought provoking, clever lyrics out....makes you wonder just who in the hell determines who gets recording contracts:

"I don't wanna know it's over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don't wanna know it's over
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What's in front of me
Cause the vodka's running on empty
I can't stay sober
If it's over "

Hey - I get a glimpse of Christmas this weekend. What's that you say? I borrowed a pair of Stan's ZTR 29'er rims laced to American Classic hubs to try for the weekend. Yup - I'll get to see what saving 350+ grams of rolling weight really means to a 29'er. I can't even wait for my ride tomorrow - it shoud be a blast!

Have a great weekend, and make sure you litter it with songs from Hinder, Hoobastank, Finger 11 and Tool - because if you like that crap you are a TOOL.

Wednesday


Finally, out of the f'n blue...


I felt strong again. I popped off a quick 1 hour singlespeed ride after work tonight, and I felt normal again. Damn - I think its a proven fact that I need to rock myself into the ground for 3-4 days of hard/suffering-type rides, rest for two days and then go shred it like a head of lettuce.


That 50 miler next Saturday is gonna be fun. One more training ride, and I am ready to rest and then rip. It should be a small field - maybe 10 riders max. I'll mark the 3rd place dude and make sure I keep him in my sights so I have a shot at the podium on the last lap.....unless he's too fast. Maybe he'll be slow and I'll pounce on #2 or #1. I've never outright won yet, so I'm gonna put the crack pipe down now.....but I'm racing to win that's for sure. As Josh said "go as hard as you can until you see the water cooler" I wonder if you put a pony keg of Red Hook Ale out there....I'd ride fast to that.


No shitburger for lunch today......just a nice burrito. It went down well. I'm ready for some more sh*t tomorrow, but that's tomorrow. As Sammy Hagar once said at a live concert in Fresno, Ca in 1991, "Tomorrow? F*ck tomorrow.....it's about RIGHT NOW". Well right now, I still have to do dishes, run a load of laundry, balance the chemicals in the hot tub, and sweep the f'n floor as Bodhi ate a plastic pitcher for lunch today - and left the remains on the living room floor. I'd call my life semi-charmed, and a lot less than glamorous.


The devastation in Southern California
has definately reached, and/or eclipsed Hurricane Katrina levels. I guess the only solace is knowing that our government seems a hella lot more prepared to deal with this type of disaster than before. Word via National Public Radio is that the state/fed/county officials are cooperating well to really help people. Hoteliers are selling rooms for 1/2 price to help stranded families and I would imagine that grocers and retailers are helping as well. It's always great to see how people respond in the event of a true emergency. All the greed instantly goes away and people are just there to help.

Although we had our fire here last summer, it was pretty small potatoes compared to this devastation. Sure, we were out of business for a week, but we didn't lose a thing - no structures, no lives. Just money which was recovered over time.

Make a red cross donation if you can...even $10 helps.

Steve has a take on this that hits home too....

Tuesday

Shitburger.com

Man, the shitburgers that I have been eating for the last couple of weeks are starting to accumulate. My gut hurts, my shoulders are tight, and my last three rides have been fun, but I have not been up to par. I mean I'm not stinkin' up the joint, but its almost like the passion to just rip is being kept down by the white man....wait, that's me.

Staffing at work is the primary culprit, and I honestly have NO IDEA what the hell we're gonna do after Dec 31st when the great state of AZ tries to enforce a no illegal alien policy. Tourism, construction, landscaping, restaurants, you name it - its gonna be f'd up for a long while.

Well - at least I did get in nearly 5 hours of singlespeed riding last weekend preceeded by 4 hours on the road. I'm outta here at 3pm today to de-stress.....of course the trade off is that I have to work from home tonight. It's worth it.

Happy f'n Tuesday

Friday

DNS

All you cycling fans out there know that DNS = Did not start. That was my status at the racquetball tourney last night. D had to work late, Lyza's soccer game ran over, and she had spelling words to study before Friday AM. Before I knew it, 8:00pm came and went and I wasn't playing. Ya know what? No big deal, because family comes first - and I'm not being cheeky with that comment. Fo' reals. Lyza passed her spelling test, and D keeps her job by showing up for a mandatory meeting. I still won the league, just not the tournament.

On a better note, I got in another 31 miles of outdoor riding this morning - that's 62 for the week with another 25-30 off road planned for tomorrow on the singlespeed. We had a warm spell blow through meaning 50's in the day and only 30's at night. Fall colors are peaked out right now, and I can't get enough of the Aspen trees changing to a luminescent yellow.

Wedding to attend tomorrow afternoon/evening, work Sunday morning (again), and then off for the rest of Sunday. Go Vikes - take the Cowboys to the house.

Wednesday


Supposed Former Beer Infatuation Junkie...

Yes Sheck, add Alanis to the list with Mimi, Aimee, and Posh

I am fully recovered beer snob. See there was a time when I only wanted a dark, imported, made by Monks, nearly unfiltered, full flavored brew with some hard to get rep and a unique bottle. I actually remember applauding a rant on some dude's website with the ridiculously overused cliche "life is too short to drink lame beer". Like those words haven't been uttered for nearly every high end product out there - or at least the well-marketed and positioned high end products. Well that was back in 1998, and I believe nearly 10 years later I am recovered.

A $1.99 25 ounce Tecate in a can looks just f'n great when I'm thirsty. How about a Fosters Lager in the oilcan! Say hell yeah to that! Really - I'll drink whatever is put in front of me especially if you're buying.

Wisdom, experience, and my pathetic habit of always embracing at least one thing that is socially 'cool' has taught me that my current infatuation with coffee will end within the next seven years when I'll be drinking microwaved water with a teaspoon of Folgers. Mmmmmmmm, sounds........just nasty now, but I am my parents and I just can't get around this......I don't even want to bring up the inevitable ventures into box wine, repeating the same stories, and slow driving.

Early start tomorrow - 6am at work, out at 3pm - off to soccer practice with Lyza, and then the club R-ball tournament. I haven't played in a week, but one thing is for sure. I'm well rested, and I'm pretty pissed off about not playing more - so I hope that helps. Everybody is gunning for me, and each match will be one game to 21 since we have so many players. One bad streak, and you're finished. I'm gonna win and if I don't I'll go down swinging/diving/swearing. I don't even want to think about losing, but if I do, I'm gonna fetch a cold MGD at happy hour prices and watch the remaining players whip up on each other.




Correction to that last post....

I raced for 5 hours and 15 minutes on Oct 4th - left everything I had on the course and placed well dammit. I guess the time has gone by fast since then, and I haven't done shit in recent memory other than slam a few balls into walls on Thursday nights. In the spirit of just that -not having done shit in 10 days - and the fact that I can't even look at my trainer, I ambled out the door at 8:30 this morning for a 47 degree road ride up to 9,300 feet where it was exactly 37 degrees.
I'm home, warmed up, and I finally feel chemically balanced/normal again. I think I was about to slit my wrists last night over a lack of activity. Racquetball doesn't count - I need to ride.

It's Grandparents Day at Lyza's school today, and since her GP's live in Minnesota - I'm gladly subbing so I don't have to go to work. With 6 day workweeks over the last month, I deserve a little midweek time off.

C-ya

Tuesday





I haven't raced since.....


September 23rd.

10 days of rest have me feeling antsy, but here I am on Tuesday night staring at my trainer and feeling a lot of push back from my brain. Thoughts like "Are you serious - you want to ride indoors in PLACE". "You've got to be kidding me.....you can't ride a mountain bike on that"......and finally "Yeah right, you've got about as much self-motivation to ride that as a jobless fat-fu*k welfare recipient has of applying for a job at Hardees". Hardees, by the way, just rolled out a new Breakfast Burrito that has over 920 calories and 60 grams of saturated fat. The best quote ever from the Hardees PR clown is this:

"It makes the big country breakfast portable". The second best quote is from a critic who calls Hardees high calorie food items "Food Porn". I thought THAT mushroom was food porn.

So, where was I? I'm not sure, but I sure as hell am not hungry for mushrooms.

Top 5 shallow middle-class issues I'm facing right now:
5) I hate my trainer
4) My fantasy football team is 2-4
3) I'm out of orange juice for tomorrow morning
2) I might have to stop for gas on the way to work
1) I feel the urge to delve more deeply in Barack Obama's platform, and to learn more about Fred Thompson's decision not to campaign more aggressively in Iowa this week

time for bed

Monday


This was probably one of the first weekends where I was actually GLAD to get to Sunday afternoon......wiped out and ready for a beer or two. Saturday morning we were up at the crack of ass to act as roving photographers for the Soulstice Trail Run. D was racing the short course (around 6.5 miles), and Lyza and I decided to hop on our bikes and intercept her at various points for photo ops. Well, as it usually goes with a 6-year old, plans changed.

First, it was cold - around 35 degrees - so we didn't want to ride that fast. Second - literally 100 yards in "I have to pee Dad". So down with the pants, legs up on a log, and unload about a liter of Apple juice. That cut us down to one intercept point, and we were waiting patiently when the leaders ripped through. After the top 3 women, and the top 10 men I was thinking D would roll through in another 5-10 minutes. WRONG> here she comes ripping down the trail at max effort. We get a quick photo - scream "GO D - THROW IT DOWN" and we hop on our bikes hell bent for the finish line. We roll in about 2 minutes before she does, and get the camera out in time to get her and some dude in a green shirt who couldn't catch her at the line. She got 4th overall, and 3rd in her age group (tough age group)......another trophy for the mantle at home!

Quick ride home, and Lyza and I are off to Brownies - yes, Dads do Brownies now. We went to an animal shelter which was actually a really cool field trip. Get back - lunch - day over, right? WRONG. D and I quick change for a wedding up at the Snowbowl....babysitter for Lyza. Home and CRASH out around 10pm.

Sunday - more of the same, and that's why I was pretty psyched to hit Sunday evening with nothing 'to do'.

This week brings the October Racquetball Tourney on Thursday night. I guess I'm seeded #1, which has 'letdown' written all over it. Nice confidence, huh......I'll probably be ready to play the likes of Prick Paul, Kaotic Keith, Timid Tim, College Mike, Sponsored Chris, and Mitch the Bitch come Thursday, but I can't even think about that right now. MUST GET ON THE TRAINER and ride some miles as I have a 50 miler coming up on 11/3.

Here it is, Tuesday morning already.....better get hoppin.

Wednesday

Rudy Guiliani....

is creating quite a stir within the ranks of the religious-based conservatives. He's leading the Republican polls (at around 30%), yet, many of the decision makers in the GOP would consider splitting the Republican vote to ensure he doesn't get in office. In short, they are more afraid of Guiliani than Hillary Clinton.

Why?

Abortion and family values. See the religious right is in no way shape or form going to support a pro-choice candidate who is thrice married. Because the religious right is so influential on the GOP nominee, Guiliani might be stonewalled by his own party. It's firghtening to note that the right wing GOP leaders and constituents would forego their position in the White House due to ONE issue that has no political bearing on the success/security of this nation.

If you asked a GOP member today what Guilini's position is on abortion, more than 70% assume he's pro-life. Wait 'till the shit hits the fan this winter when GOP voters realize he is not aligned with the right.

Ross Perot's candidacy greatly helped the Clintons get into the White House, and that Goddamn Ralph Nader STOLE the election from Al Gore in 2000. However - Guiliani is the type of candidate who could capture a lot of independent votes and DEM votes as well. All I'm sayin' is if anyone can overcome the stranglehold of his/her party it might be RUDY.

Fun stuff - I can't wait 'till 2008!

Tuesday

Nice move by Tubby the Chunk Monkey above...

Lyza and I once had to pull a fat little Navajo kid out of a swing at the park - you know - the kind of semi-closed seat that kids have to slide their legs into. Well little Chief Eatalot couldn't get out. He was all screaming and sh*t. Pretty funny once he was out of there. I thought for sure we were callin' the Fire Dept. on that one.

Last Thursday I played Placid Paul in racquetball, but the dude turns out to be A-hole Martyr Paul. I know....there's no ring to it, and I've been trying to come up with a name for him all week. Prick Paul....I dunno. What I wanted to do was PELT Paul with a shot to the back of the leg, but I took the high road and played fair and square. I have something for Paul next time we play though. It's blue, it says PENN on it, and if I hit it solid it will hit his skin at 130mph. F*cker.

I've decided to prolong the cycling season simply because I hate going to the gym. There is a 50 mile marathon at an easy desert course a la Old Pueblo in Phoenix on 11/3. 9am start time - means warmth....., fast crushed granite, I couldn't imagine being out there for more than 4 hours max. Actually, by the time this is over, there are two events in December down in the Valley of the Scum that is Phoenix that will carry the 'season' into 2008 just in time for 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo on President's Day Weekend in Tucson. Bring on the 7 BITCHES of Old Pueblo. 4-man team this year, with a team chef too. No shit.

Dad is getting his Prostate chopped today....ouch. My non-denominational, agnostic-slanted, non-conformist, borderline anti-any established religion prayers are with him. I hope they count for something. Good thing he has his Minister visiting the hospital 'cause I'm leavin' him a little short in the spiritual department. With all seriousness - I hope that surgeon got the fucking cancer out of him. Good riddance to it and a speedy recovery Dad.



CB

Sunday







That' a Wrap Folks....on the 2007 cycling season
My above listed spons.....ok, well they aren't sponsors because they don't exactly give me their stuff. I have to buy it like everybody else. However, without this gear, I would never have pulled off a solid finish in the Tour of the White Mountains yesterday. 70 racers in our open class event made it even that much sweeter. Pros/Singlespeeders/old guys/women...I love open class racing. No age groups - its just the first one across the line wins goddammit! It was a sunny day, a great, technically challenging course, and as always.....a sufferfest from the word GOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The gun went off at 7:15am at Thunderhorse Ranch in Pine Top, AZ. It was a warm enough day - temps in the 50's - but we had sustained winds of 25mph with consistent 40 mph gusts. I looked back just before the start and realized we had a pretty big field. I was in the 3rd row hoping for a top 10 finish.
Right out of the gate, I was 10th - and our lead group picked up a quick 30 second gap on the rest of the field....so I knew it was my job at that point to just not get passed. Only 51 miles to go to the finish line. The first several miles were forest roads designed to separate the field. It worked. I got in a paceline of guys to help cut the wind, and did my share of pulls before dropping two guys and taking a dig for the lead group of 7 - I never did make the bridge up to them, but as soon as I about blew from the effort we turned onto the singletrack for the next 40 miles and I was able to settle into a good pace. The climbing was moderate - 4,500 feet over the 51 miles so it was just a matter of keeping yourself focused.
There was a staggered start - and the 42/35 mile participants started after us, and took a shortcut that got them in front of our group.....meaning that I all of a sudden rode up on what felt like 100 intermediate-level riders, but they were all cool and were willing to let us pass them without issue. It was great psychologically - as I always had someone ahead that I was trying to catch. Well - I blew past the first 3 aid stations and was feeling great until 2:45 minutes into the race when my legs and lungs just seemed to lose their ability to hold the pace I was riding....I had a couple of bars and gels, and kinda limped into aid station #4 - thankfully helped by a long downhill section about 30 minutes after I started feeling the fatigue. 15 miles left, or so we were told. I ate cheese/gatorade/candy and it tasted sooooooooo good........but suddenly not good as I watched a guy in my class zip by the aid station at full throttle.
FUCK! Back on the bike hell bent to catch him. I knew I was close to top 10 and didn't want to lose that standing. I went a little too hard, and ended up having to stop for 30 seconds to work a cramp out of my right hamstring. It went away since I caught it right away and after some suffering for 1/2 hour, I rolled up on him and we rode together on a long stretch of the 7 miles of fire roads to the ranch. I could feel him laboring, so I punched it once and he sat on my wheel. I punched it twice, and gapped him by about 7 seconds. I did one final big-ring push out of the saddle and he disappeared behind me. I kept my effort at close to 85% of max and survived a hellish headwind to the line. 5 hours 15 minutes - good enough for 9th place. I was just psyched! Back in May I raced in a simlar category at the Whiskey 50 and placed a middling 64th out of 100. This was vindication for that race. I left everything I had in my yesterday on the trails and although I didn't get on the podium, it felt great to know I really accomplished something I had been trying to all year: Riding fast for 5-6 hours, having the awareness to not bonk, and having a strong finishing kick. I know I didn't get on the podium, and that would be a monumental achievement for me in Open Class racing. I guess I'll always have something to shoot for, that's for sure.
Go Vikes!






Wednesday

I yanked this out of the garage last night, actually, mine is the 2007 model which isn't as 'pimped out' as this one. Check it out - Fox RL80 fork, and a better parts spec for just another $200......well worth it if you don't have one.

Anyway - I hit the trail for 1.5 hours. My legs felt like bark-beetle infested logs with NO power or snap. Roughly calculated, I think I have 1,700 miles of wear on my legs over the last 9 months, and I think I need a break. With a 51 mile race schedule in 3 days, I better just rest for a while - HAMMER on Saturday knowing its the last hard effort until Old Pueblo in February, and enjoy the upcoming winter. Time to lift weights, maybe trail run, maybe even a yoga class or two, hit the indoor trainer to keep some cardio fitness.......yuck - all of that makes me wanna puke right now.

F'n A - I have some serious sh*tburgers to eat with regards to Lyza and her issues at school. One thing for sure, she sure keeps me on my toes.

Josh - what am I gonna do with that FULL CARBON Epic frame?

Monday

The neo-conservatives in this country are frightening. I'm more afraid of them STARTING a war with Iran than I am of this little dude from Iran who just talks trash about the 'fake holocaust' and the assertion that there are 'no homosexuals in Iran'......too funny really. For a guy who has no power, he sure has our bible thumpin, bad suit wearin conservatives nervous. Give this guy a mic and let him do standup!

Week ahead..

This is on 10/6. I have not been riding much due to the short days, and mucho worko. But - this is kinda the finale for the season....at least for competitive events anyway. Truth be told, I'm kinda ready to put a capper on 2007 alltogether. 1-51 mile race and it's pretty much closed for business. It's been a great year.....A second place finish + cash, no major mechanical issues to pay for, and no injuries other than fatigue from time to time. Oh yeah - and that sweet S-Works frame from the raffle.

The weekend was a blur. Work, play - a pretty good mix of the two. Brett Favre schooled the Vikes. It's great to see Favre playing with such fortitude and fun even if he has to paste the Vikes.

Lyza and D continue to rock my small world.

CB

Thursday

Correction:

I placed a stellar 19th out of 27 Cat 5 men. I'm a punk hillclimber. Dana was 4th of 7 women in Cat 4.

Like it matters.....

I'm a geek. I traded 7 players on my fantasy football roster this week.

Like it matters.....

Racquetball tonight against College Mike and Loud Mouth Mike. Bof of 'em (Hey Vito) are good. I've lost to bof, and beaten 'em bof too. Should be a good night on the courts.

Have you ever ground up pinon coffee beans straight from the Country of New Mexico (there's no way its a state - have ya been there before?). This sh*t is just fantastic. Smoky, full-flavored espresso at its finest. Hell, I'll even drive there to get more.

Coffee and Racquetball.....they matter

Tuesday

The Kid at School Part Two

1.) The cops have followed up about as well as FEMA with regards to our report. Whatever.
2.) We asked that the kid be allowed to stay in the same class - what he did was probably nothing more than mimicking something he saw on some sh*t TV program or movie.
3.) Counseling session for me and the Ex on Friday - to discuss this stuff and Squirty going back and forth between houses as seamlessly as possible.

Random Shallow Thoughts

1.) I have around 100 days until I'm due for a cherry-poppin' "backside" exam - yup, the first one. Since my Pops is going in for prostate surgery next month, I best get inspected.
2.) I'm still thinking about building up that carbon Specialized Epic frame. I'll have to donate plasma for the extra money to do it, but.....
3.) When I was unintentionally listening to Nelly Furtado last night, I reminisced about the show Star Search - and how great of a talent Alanis Morissette was when she was 16.
4.) Have you ever wanted to be a cop?
5.) I would love to hear why one would not vote for Hillary Clinton in 2008. If she gets her legitimate health care plan rolling - there's no stopping her.

Monday

Google Maps said that Safford, AZ was 308 miles from my door - equivalent to 5 hours and 8 minutes. We left Flagstaff on Saturday in a hurricane. Sheets of rain, hydroplaning, the whole 9 yards. I have to give a big thanks to Subaru for making a pretty solid car in the Forester. We had 4 people, 4 bikes, gear and it was a solid ride. Numerous construction issues brought us to the east side of Phoenix around 6:30pm and we were starving. We fleeced a gas station of napkins, and plasticware and made burritos in the parking lot as we had the ingredients in the parking lot. We had to send Dana in to heat them up, as Gary had already been kicked out of the store once for "you take too much napkin".

Back in the car, and into mining country - Mormon country - Crystal Methe country....Globe/Miami, and finally to Safford around 10:00pm....6 1/2 hours later. We crashed at a little Best Western, to the sweet feeling of stagnant, humid, warm air, and highway noise. Truckers seemed to be playing games as they came through to pick up their methe fixes - laying on their horns HARD all the way down the main drag. I slept for sh*t, and woke up at 5:15am to the sound of Gary's cell phone alarm. Usually I can't sleep before a big race, but believe me - the competition was above my league so I was not stressing about the ride.

We rolled over to the start/staging area in plenty of time, get the numbers, warm up on the rollers, over to the line - National anthem, and then this goofy prayer by the race organizer. There were 150+ racers that I would imagine represented a lot of religions and this guy was spouting off about thanking God and Jesus. Maybe I'm just growing tired of this stuff - but I couldn't wait to race and hear him ZIP his zealous piehole.

The organizer sounded the airhorn - and we were off. Let me tell ya a little bit about this field. It is LOADED with the top road climbers in the state. Who else would show up for a 5,600 foot climb over 20 miles? These people have powertaps, uber-expensive bikes, and a some pretty good fitness Well - I know of two people, me and Dana, who probably didn't train properly for this. I have been riding mountain bikes all summer, so I felt like I could at least compete. Dana rode MAYBE 2x a week for a month prior figuring it would be similar to Mount Lemmon in Tucson. The mood at the line was unlike any MTB race I've been at. Ego-centric, not friendly, and since it was a mass start - everyone was trying to figure out who they were competing against.

Ok, GO!

Instantly, D and I were in the back 3rd of the pack - where we belonged. I was doing the pacemaking for us as we agreed. The Goal was for me to work the pitches of 4% and less, and for her to pace us when it got steep. I had to fight to keep us at the front of the back 1/3, and I was contunially pushing 173 on the ol' heart rate monitor. That's a lof of effort for me, and I was convinced for the first 4 miles that my HR was off by 10 beats per minute. Yeah - right...it was me burying myself to keep us in the race. I kept this up for 4 miles until we hit a 10% pitch.

I gunned it since I could see that it would end in 1/4 mile, and Dana followed. I hit 180 on the HR and had to slow down - but we dropped about 20 people there and never saw them again. We then set a pace that brought me back down a bit and hung on for the next 6 miles to the 1/2 way point. Psychologically I was breaking down, and then the sun broke through the clouds and it got HOT....hot for me at least. I fell about 50 yards behind D and sat there for 3 more miles until I recovered. I paced back up to her and we were at mile 13 - thinking in my head - 'how the f*ck am I gonna make it to mile 20 without slowing down significantly'. Just then, it was as if my body stabilized, and my HR dropped to a very comfortable 168. We rode at this pace for another 2 miles (mile 15) - and hit intense fog, and the top finishers were already riding DOWN. It didn't seem logical - we weren't going that slow. Turns out we see the race director at the next switchback and he screams: "Race ends in 1K! Too much fog and hail!" Well, D is gassed, and she doesn't have a kick. I have some extra, but we couldn't see a soul in front of us, or behind us so I didn't sprint for the line - instead, we upped the tempo a notch and rode across the line together in 1 hour, 51 minutes.

We grapped the gear we sent up with the support vehicle (leg warmers, winter riding jackets, full-fingered gloves, earbands) and took off for the bottom as the snow and hail was coming down. It was a long ride down on wet roads for 12 miles - as the storm had just followed us up the mountain.

At the awards ceremony in Methe-ville, USA - we realized just how average we were compared to the best climbers in the State. The winning Pro 1,2 men were coming in around 1 hour and 15 minutes. Two things were inspiring though:

1.) There were a lot of men riding with us that were in their 50's and even 60's. It's great to know that if I'm dedicated, I can ride well into my geriatric years. And ride well, too.
2.) D. She trained for sh*t, and kept pace with the women in her category - placing 4th and only 3 minutes out of first in the Women's Cat 4. The chick is a solid rider, and I couldn't have felt any better about riding with her the whole way (except for that 3 mile stretch where I was DYING and hanging on 50 yards back). If she trained for this thing, I would not have been riding with her as she would have put 5 minutes into me easily.

For the record, I finished 12th out of 15 Cat 5 men......and that is one reason I'm pumped for the Epic Rides Tour of the White Mountains in 2 weeks. It's on mountain bikes - 51 miles of singletrack, and I know I can hit the top 15 in the Mens division if I come to play. Long Live the Mountain Bike, and screw the skinny tires until maybe next spring.

Friday

A F*cked up Friday

1) One of Squirty's classmates has been kissing her, and GOT his hand in her pants during class - no kidding. Intervention on Monday with school counselors - questioning, the whole f*cking 9 yards. The kid is 6.....I can't punch him in the face, but I can punch his Dad.
2) Racing this weekend kinda seems irrelevant right now. Like I give a f*ck? But - life goes on, and nothing can happen between now and Monday. Gary recommended that I put a 27 tooth cog on the back. I've never ridden anything other than an 11-23 with a 39/53 up front. I'll try it tomorrow as a test since he described the climb as Looooong and steep.
3) I'm dyin' on the vine right now - just feeling flat, tired, and I'm about as exciting as watching the Twins play baseball at 15 games out of first with 10 to go. WHATEVER.
4) Racquetball was a success last night from a scoring perspective. I'm getting better and am dominating the league right now. It continues to be the best mental release and inside my head, I'm just screaming at the ball trying to crush it into the wall. I don't think I'm very fun to play, but I don't really give a sh*t. I want to win and leave a wake behind me of dejected players. F*ck em.

I'll snap out of it. Its just that you never know when you get to start eatin' shitburgers. I'm at the White Castle of shitburgers right now - just pumpin' down a dozen at a time.....sliders.

CB

Thursday

How do you get one of those if you're 100% whitebread?

I'm feeling about as flat as can be right now. Maybe its because I'm supposed to be resting this week for the imminent max effort coming on Sunday morning. I have a hard time resting - I want to go play. I know its good for my legs, but I need to get some exercise in. Good thing its Thursday night - racquetball will help get me fired up again.


This has been one of those super-tiring weeks. Lyza had a bad night on Monday - up all night - worried about me going down to Tucson for work. Top that off with just regular day to day stress and you get two things:

1) I fell asleep driving yesterday - split second - but enough to make me pull over and sleep for 10 minutes.

2) I also fell asleep watching Lyza at her tennis lesson last night. She busted me on it too - I was out for maybe a minute and I wake up to her laughing down on the court.


Narcolepsy? Probably - I can fall asleep in 2.2 seconds when I'm whipped.


OK - r-ball tonight, an easy 20 mile road bike ride tomorrow morning, and the same thing on Saturday Am in preparation for the race. We have a 5 hour 1-way drive to Safford, AZ - so it'll be a long Sunday. Hey - its better than sittin' on my ass and watching the Vikings make a traveshamockery out of the NFL.




Wednesday

Fish -

Is that you drivin' Mommy's car?

Tuesday


Time has a great....

article on the spouses of the major contenders for the 2008 election. If you're a John Edwards person, his wife is a smokin' gun for several reasons. She's whip-smart, she has stage IV breast cancer with a life expectancy of less than 5 years - making her in the opinion of most strategists - untouchable. How can you rip her? If you do - you are an ass, and she is confident and smart enough to get right in your face.

I guess the point is that these spouses are strong - including Mr. Clinton - possibly the "First Laddie" of the White House. To me, the Clinton's deserve their position as #1/#1 - the poll leaders in the Dem polls, and the overall poll leaders of all candidates.

Now if you're casting your vote for Prez based on the hottest spouse, then you have to lean towards John McCain - his wife Cindy McCain is it if you like the "cougar" look. She's blond, fit, rich, and smart. If you have jungle fever then ya best choose Obama's wife Michelle - although she might not be 'black enough', like Obama's critics say of him.

I don't even care who wins the Republican ticket, so we'll keep the discussion on this blog geared towards the interesting and talent-laden Dem side. Cindy McCain....today's front runner anyway.

Monday

The Girls

A good weekend, a great hike, just kickin' back in the late summer temps.

Funniest things I read tonight:
1.) The pathetic "questioning" by the House of Gen. Petreus. Talk about a guy being hung out to dry by Bush.
2.) The "feud" between Kanye West and 50 Cent.
3.) The Vikings offense
4.) The lyrics to Cheeseburger's song "Do You Remember" - check these guys out if you haven't yet. They'll wake your ass up if you're draggin it to the starting line.
5.) Vito's assessment of the Chicago Bears and how it relates to him banging a South American Chick. Vito is ALWAYS on hand with a good story.

Good Night Biyotches...
So much for the Vikings

It was a good weekend, with virtually no riding or anything going on other than working a bit on Saturday, and hanging out with the Family on Sunday. The Vikings do suck, and I don't even know why I give a sh*t about them anymore.

Work is hectic - people out on vaca, people out sick, and I have a big hill to climb this coming Saturday. I'll find time to ride tomorrow and Wednesday as a final tune up before climbing the monster. Here are the stats:

Mount Graham / Safford AZ
20 mile climb
Base elev: 3,500 feet
Top: 9,300 feet
Gradient: Average of around 6% or so

It'll be 80+ at the bottom, and around 65 at the top.

Nothing brutal, but definately a Category 1 Tour de France climb - minus the drugs. Does weed count? Just kidding, but it might take the edge off this week thinking about the race. Maybe I'll get some for 'medicinal' purposes.

OK - back to the sawmill.

Friday

It was a good night at the courts

Timid Tim has developed a little bit of a game, and wasn't so timid. But he went down like Lindsey Lohan on a traffic cop. Then I played Ken I have the look of a potential serial killer. You should see this guy's face - he could either smile and laugh, or look like he'll rape your wife, kill your kids, and keep your dog. I'm gonna keep my distance, and NEVER hit him with the ball. He has a good game, but not a lot of fitness, so he went down swingin'. Then it was on to Kaotic Kevin - which is really an acronym. He's calm, cool, and has a lot of control. We played twice, and I wasted him the first time, and we battled to 15-13 the last game - I got him at the wire. It was a great match - and I can't wait to play this guy again.

The Lowly Detroit Lions play the Vikes this weekend. Fish - if you're reading this, Adrian Peterson will WRECK your Lions this weekend. Vikes....goin 2-0 baby.

I'm ready for Friday evening. For the weekend ya know........

CB

Thursday

Sub 40

For the first time, I comfortably finished climbing Snowbowl road in under 40 minutes. 39:15 to be exact, with no one chasing me, and no one in front of me. 6.2 miles, 7,000 feet at the start line to 9,000 feet at the top. OK - so I'm pretty pumped about it, but then I remember the reality of my so called 'achievement'.

In last year's race to the top, the winner of the Pro,1,2 category demolished the climb in 26:34. He had enough time to take of the chamois, drink an Iced Tea, give an interview, kiss his wife and tell her about the climb, and load his bike to go home.......and then I would have crossed the line. Good thing I'm a Hotel Manager because I sure ain't gonna make a living climbing Snowbowl.

Enjoy your Thursday. Racquetball tonight against Fat F*ck Fred, and Tough Mike. At least I have one good match to look forward to.

Wednesday

The next 11 days

I'm not really nervous yet about the state championship hill climb because although I'm entered in the Cat 4 men, I'm not racing for me. C'mon - I wouldn't have a chance of placing in the top 10 of my category. I'm too slow which is caused by not riding my road bike as much as I could, and the fact that I'm 190+ pounds. The dudes who win this race are little dudes who climb like gondolas in Vail.

The goal is to get D on the podium of the Women's 4. We have been training, and we worked our tails off on a 50 mile loop last weekend featuring a 16 mile climb - not really high elevation though. I'm still recovering from that ride. My job next weekend is to hang on to D's wheel on the steeps - which is not easy for me, and then step up and provide a draft for her on the flatter sections. Hopefully, with a little luck, she will be on that podium.

Our canceled vacation has allowed the priviledge of working this week - that's just f'n great. It has also allowed me to only work 1/2 days so we have spent time looking at real estate for my Uncle to buy. I hope we can get him moved in to Flagstaff in the next 6 months. It would be great to have him around more. He's a twitchy SOB, but he's a blast to be around.

We may have an update tonight on a condo about 2 miles from my front door. If so - pictures will follow tomorrow.

Monday


HAVASUPAI? Nope....here's where I ended up on Sunday. In Hell. Yup, that's Phoenix, and we took my Dad back there to get him on a plane home. He wasn't feeling all that good, so we canceled the trip. Hey - curveballs come at ya all the time. It's how you make the adjustment.

Adjustments - oh yeah. We hit the Mandalay Tea Room for some tofu scramble plates and organic French Pressed Coffee. Then, off to Gameworks for 2 hours of airhockey and driving games. Good times.

So, we made the most of it. I did go to work today, but I cut out early since it was a vacation day. I got in 2.5 hours of climbing, and 45 minutes of descending on the mountain bike. It could not have been a better afternoon.

Friday


So I look at the racquetball leage schedule last night and.....

who do I draw? Chris G (a 20 year old college kid who is sponsored by Ektelon), and some dude who ripped both of his hammies about a month back...."some dude" ended up a no-show.

So Chris G plays a match before me against a stiff named Timid Tim. He's a nice guy, looks like Dave Stout, but at least Stout can hit a jumper from 20 with a hand in his face. Timid Tim lasted all of 15 minutes with Chris G. I was cold on the couch waiting to play Chris G - 2 minute warm-up, and we are off.

He waxes me 15-4 in the first game. I was cold, but not that cold. He just surprised me with his power, and it took me until the last 5 minutes of the game to catch on to his strategy. Next game - I pegged it early and took him 15-4. Primarily, I just took advantage of any marginal shot he made, and I got on a good roll. So we're standing by the drinking fountain, and I says to the guy I says "So this game is to 11, right?" He says "yeah..11". I say "Sh*t....I don't do well in short games as I have a hard time getting my engine running". It was a little mental warfare, but it worked. I turned on the gas early - got out to an 8-2 lead, and took him 11-5. We talked after, and I was thinking he had been playing since he was 16.....played a lot of tourneys, been sponsored for a few years etc etc etc. Nope. The f*cker picked up a racquet 9 months ago playing with his buddy on outdoor cement courts in Phoenix. Played in 3 tourneys this summer, and moved to Flagstaff in August. He got sponsored after his 3rd tourney which he won.

He was three, f*cking 3, when I graduated from college. I have been playing competitively for 21 years, and we are at about the same level. I wanted to pull a Tanya Harding on his left knee so I don't have to play him in the tournament in 5 weeks. The bright side, is that I can still play with these dudes. The dark side is I'm absolutely positively as good as I will get at this sport. Sure, I may pick up some new shots but the trade off is that I'm physically declining. I felt it getting out of bed this morning.

After one more match with Monster Mike - we split the match - I was ready for the garbage. Home, shower, bed.....done.

I'll be at Havasu Falls Sunday through Wednesday. Pics to follow and surely some good stories.


CB


Thursday

Everything you never wanted to know....

http://www.slate.com/id/2173033/


Happy Thursday............note that I didn't publish this on Hump Day.
Sports, Drugs & Morals?

Every cyclist I know is all up in arms over the fact that another NFL player was caught using HGH (That's Human Growth Hormone Mom), and he only got a 4-game suspension. Rodney Harrison is the guy, and he's a long-time veteran of the New England Patriots. The point is that if this had happened to a pro cyclist, it would have meant:
A) You get sacked (That's FIRED Mom)
B) Your income is gone
C) You get a 2-year ban

Seems like we have a little discrepancy when people say that Cycling is the 'dirtiest sport'. 'Roids and HGH are rampant if the NFL and have been for 20 years, don't let the number of positive tests fool you into thinking that there is little substance abuse in America's #1 game.

Here's the moral dilemma: Rodney Harrison is a highly respected player because he's been around a long time, he plays with reckless abandon, and he was probably trying to squeeze another year or two out of his body before he will inevatibly be replaced by a younger player. He knows his earning power is almost gone at the pro level, and he was willing to risk a 4-game suspension on drugs that would prolong his career. I can see both sides of this issue, but, cheating is cheating. I learned that from an Ex-wife who created a moral dilemma to justify her actions. I think, for Rodney, its about ego/pride and money. Rodney was just coming off a broken leg, he's in his late 30's and he just had to come back to prove to himself and everyone that he's still "THE MAN" and the fat payday helped justify the sacrifice he had to make.

Hey - it's the NFL where cartoon-like crashes are on ESPN within minutes of their occurence, where violence is praised, and where a sh*tload of money is bet every week. I don't think anything will change anytime soon.

Racquetball tonight, it's the first week of the fall league. We have 6 weeks of round robin play followed by the Tourney. I got my new racquet, and I am ready to play. 3 matches tonight followed by a sprint home to see the girls before bedtime. I'm ready for a stress reliever - work has been flat, revenues are stagnant, and we're all ready for a change in business levels.

Monday

Freaks & Geeks

The 11th Annual fantasy football draft was yesterday in scenic Lake Montezuma, AZ - at the local golf course. Some of the dudes in our league hit the sticks before the draft, and I have to say that it's probably one of the only golf courses in AZ where you see more mullets than polo-shirt wearin' cropped cut fat guys. I skipped the golf, as I usually do and rolled in for the draft at 1:30. It's always a good time - catching up with guys I only see once a year. This whole debacle started back in 1996 and I like it because its pretty much stayed the same since. We drink beer, talk smack, and overall, take it about as serious as we should. Meaning its fun to talk about on Sundays and every now and then we get into a good trashtalk session online about it.

I woke up this mornin' around 5:45 and was on the singlespeed by 6:05. Just so you know, the sun rises now about 6:10am. We really are losing light - and it was on the edge of cold - around 51 degrees. I climbed for 5 miles up Mount Elden's 2000' gain in my 32 x 18. Plenty of work for a Monday morning. Flip it - and down "endo trail" back home. No endo's today - thankfully.

Now - off to the pool with Squirty. September is here, and I can feel the days getting shorter and the temps falling. It'll be 68 for a high on Thursday with lows in the 40's. Damn.....summer went fast.



Saturday

BROWN TROUT

So after dinner last night it was raining, but the dogs had not been out. D, Squirty and me hit the pavement for a long loop around the 'hood. About as 'hood' as it gets in Flagstaff is our quirky neighborhood of dumpy rentals, nice single family homes, condos, apartments with 90% of the population being white folk or Latinos. Not exactly a hood, but its our hood. So anyway, off we go, and about 1/4 of the way through, Lyza pulls the "I have to pee" card. We hit the woods, she takes care of business, and we're on our way. It has to be her favorite place to go to the bathroom. I think she'll be a good camper since I have yet to hear her say "ohhhh - gross, I want a toilet". So we amble on, and deep inside my lower abdomen grumbles - a lot. That transmits to my brain quickly....I'm 1/2 mile from home and if I don't find a bathroom ASAP its gonna be bad. I toss the dog leash to Lyza who stays with D - they are laughing as I take off down the road for home.

The problem is - that I can't run. I get hives on my legs if I have not been regularly running. It itches worse than you can imagine, and I have to stop and walk. So I'm racewalking the 1/2 mile home trying to tell the ol' sphincter that I'm not even close and to hold the dam - HOLD THE LINE BOYS - HOLD THE LINE!!! Says commander Shitski. Well the garage appears, I open it and sprint the final 50 feet to porcelain heaven. Let's just say it was as if I dumped a bucket of mopwater into the toilet. And then - it was over. WHEW. Cleaned the toilet, had a nice relaxing night after dropping 4 pounds of water weight, and slept like a baby.

I remember not making it once when I was in 4th grade. That has stuck with me as vividly as any of the other life changing events I have had in 39 years.

Have a nice weekend

Thursday



OK - I thought the astronaut love triangle that included diapers, surgial tubing, and garbage bags was the story of the year....well, it still is. This guy though, is right up there. I have to say there is nothing funnier than a self-proclaimed Right Winger who has voted down nearly every gay-rights initiative is now feeling the pressure to tell us "I'm not gay". Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

I just want to say though, that this opened a whole new perspective for me, as I never knew the 'call signs', or the 'little signals' that you should use in mens restrooms to get your very own prison pounding. Did you see the cop who busted him? Talk about your sweet little Peter Pan looking face. You have to believe he was straight out of the Academy when Lieutenant Hard Ass looks at him and says "Johnson - you're on gay watch at the Minneapolis Airport restrooms. I need you to really dive into this, get to know these a**clowns, and take 'em down". So this poor cop gets to smell a ton of kids dropped off at the pool all day, while making himself look "available" so he can capture pervs? He should get a fat salary for that job.

Back to our esteemed public servant from Idaho. Hey - it happens in both parties - but there's nothing I like seeing more than a crusty conservative going down by committing acts that he steadfastly condemned. Isn't it ironic Alanis Morissette that he essentially voted down initiatives for his gay-self?

Got the Scalpel out on a 1.5 hour ride last night. We're losing daylight fast unfortunately. The bike feels like an extension of me right now, tuned and dialed in. Unfortunately I have to abandon it for 3 weeks to get ready for a road race on 9/23. The new frame is likely sold to a friend on my racing team. Bye bye Epic - it was nice having you on the stand in my garage.

Tuesday

A Chill Tuesday

A huge thanks to E-Force...for mailing me a brand new Lethal 175 after I mailed it in to them in sadder shape than this....That's Lance Brigg's Lamborghini BTW. E-Force has always been great about replacing broken rackets, but for them to send me a free one when the left side of the frame was crushed, well that's just great customer service. Racquetball starts again in 2 weeks and I'm now ready to play again.

I went to a very complex immigration seminar today. Arizona has to be the most ridiculous state with regards to the legislation that was passed this year. Basically, if you are tan and you work in the service industry, ag, construction, mining etc....then pack your bags. You'll be profiled as illegal - and for crissakes....employers are ON THE HOOK to lose their business license after a second violation. I hope the Feds pass some more reasonable sh*t soon. Otherwise, our guest workers in this state will move to New Mexico and California and I'll be paying some methe addict $27/hour to clean toilets. Sh*t (pardon the pun), maybe I'll take that job.

Road ride tomorrow morning @ 5:30am up Snowbowl and then in to work....I got the following on the Fall agenda. #1 will be a bitch. 20 miles, 5500 feet of vertical.
#1
#2

Saturday

I couldn't have scripted it any better

OK - so up at 6:30am - breakfast/coffee, one last gear check and I am off to the race. The course was 20 miles, about 1,500 feet of vertical gain - in other words, not a brutal course. UP 3.5 miles of forest road to start, UP a very technical singletrack for 2.5 more miles, across another forest road for .5 miles, and the screamin' downhill for 3.5 miles on a trail that would make even the grumpiest rider LOVE this sport. Tight, twisty, jumps, banked turns.

I'm sitting in 2nd row and I planted myself behind a guy with a mullet who talked a big game, so I figured I could use him as a lead out. Race Director says GO!! - and I take the Josh Bartoszuk approach and flat out gun it. I'm in second through the first mile following Mulletguy and working hard, but not quite maxed out. Well - look to my right, and a teammate of mine, Guillermo (who won this event last year), goes rocketing past with two dudes who were just damn fast and working together taking pulls on the forest roads. I couldn't hold their pace - or that of a couple other guys, and slipped back to more of a comfort zone for my heart. We hit the singletrack, and I was in 7th. I picked and poked my way through the technical rock gardens and started reeling guys in as they fell on rocks, and overshot technical turns. At this point the course was wide open and we had little trouble making our way around the bottom third of the expert class and some of the slower singlespeeders who were being punished by the tight/rocky course. By the time we hit the downhill, I was in 5th, and I pushed the throttle open and blasted past the guys who dropped me on the road and into second place after lap #1 - about 1 minute down on Guillermo. I could see him, but barring him breaking down, I was racing for 2nd at that point. I may have looked strong coming through lap 1, but I was hurtin', but I went as fast as I could on the forest road, knowing the guys who blew my doors off on the forest road would be back. I didn't ease off, but I did make sure to load up on electrolytes knowing that I wouldn't drink another drop once I hit the singletrack. Sure as shit - as I am drinking down some Accelerade, the three guys I passed on the downhill come around me like they were shot from cannons. I cannot follow - no chance. Then another teammate passes me - and I'm now 6th heading into the singletrack, but I wasn't panicked.....I even got passed again - dropping into 7th.....Then I panicked and went as hard as I could. Once again, most of these guys were faster on the roads than the singletrack, and by the time we approached the downhill, I was in 4th - comfortably so - to the point where I could have sat up and coasted in 4th place. I was feeling chilled on an 80 degree day - meaning I was overheating., but I was only a couple miles out riding downhill - So I hit the gas again knowing that 4th doesn't get me on the podium, and when I did I felt a distinct cramp in my quadriceps. F*CK THAT SH*T - the finish/water cooler is less than 2.5 miles away.....so I kept gunning it full throttle. I passed 2 expert women, a bunch of beginners who were clogging the course, and finally came upon the 2nd place guy with 1/2 mile left and he didn't have a clue I was right on his ass.

I called out "On your right" and he gave me barely an inch to pass - not realizing it was me. I could almost hear his tires deflate a couple of psi as he realized he gave me the right of way to the finish line on a tight singletrack. I was fortunate to have a couple of tight turns left, and some loose sweeping turns because I lost him within 100 yards - looking over my shoulder at the top of a short climb to confirm that I had at least 5 seconds on him. Well - into the last turn 50 feet before the line. I looked back - he was now gone, and I rolled across the line in slow motion at 3mph tops.... relishing the first second place I have ever nabbed - and the cheers of support from a few teammates at the line. Only in hindsight did I realize I was completely wiped out. Dehydrated, cramped up - just spent.

Home/Shower/Endurox cocktail for recovery/Pick up Lyza/Kids race

She was pumped for her race, and she threw it down. The cool part was that we were able to get 5 friends in her 1st grade class to come out and race with her. She worked hard, rode carefully, but hard when she felt confident, and beat 4 classmates (all boys) and one neighborhood girl. She felt pretty good about it, and she was a great sport about it as well.

Huge grocery list/shop/ice/coolers for post party, but first awards ceremony

OK - so we go to the awards ceremony because we had a great team results....5 podiums including 3 first place finishes. I get my little trophy and some cash to spend at the local shop....cool. Then they do a raffle. Helmets, Camelbaks, etc. The last raffle item is a Carbon Specialized S-Works Epic frame, size L. The race director called out "And the winner is...C. Bosselmann" I won. It retails for $3,300. HOLY SHIT. I wouldn't even know what to do with this frame. I mean c'mon - a fully built up version of this bike is more than $6,500. That's like giving me a Ferrari to commute to work in.

So I go to our team party - and the host/teammate offers me a 29'er Soulcraft converted to a 1x9 with XTR/American Classic hubs-wheels + cash for the frame. The Soulcraft weighs probably 23 pounds at best. The only bike I don't have in my arsenal is a high end hardtail for race days. I'm gonna test ride it this week......because as Soulcraft frames say on the chainstays "built for speed".

Pictures to follow....


Just plain weird...

I've never done a race that is less than 10 miles from my front door. In fact, it's 5 miles from my front door.

I had a nice meal last night, slept in my own bed, woke up at a reasonable time, had a nice breakfast, and I'm thinking to myself, WTF? I'll hop on my bike in 45 minutes and ride over to the race course. This is so far removed from the typical:

Arrive to the race venue late on Friday night, go to sleep in a cold tent, wake up cold, eat some oatmeal concoction, pre-race warm up, and GO. There is something cool about camping though, and hanging out after the race.

After this one - I'll just ride home, take a shower, and head on over to our team party. This qualifies as a great late summer day - unless I get my ass kicked this morning.

Friday

Club Champ

I got it. Took out Timid Tim in the first round, survived Lefty Mike in the second round, and took down a very tired Young Mike the College Kid in the finals. Hey - at least I got a long sleeve T-shirt out of it. I think College Mike would have taken me, or we would of at least had a tough battle if he had not been so tired. That was the luck of my draw - I got the the finals well rested.

Bike race @ 9:15am tomorrow. Gooooooooooooo!

Thursday

PART ONE.....of the rock and roll weekend

starts tonight.....club racquetball tourney commences at 6pm. Jean Short Jimmy - see you in the finals. I hope I can get that picture that Josh has out of my mind.

Wednesday

Don't have Kids unless......

You're 100% sure that you and your spouse will make it. Lyza - 6 years old - was sobbing last night, asking me "why did you and Mom have to break apart". It's a little too early to tell her that her Mom was a cheating liar ho-bag - I'll save that until she can handle the truth. Instead, you focus on whatever positives there are (2 families, 2 Christmas Days, 2 Spiderman Toothbrushes, etc....). Even if you are 100% sure, things can change overnight. So my statement holds about as much weight as her. I've heard that she'll get past this point, and then HAMMER me for the truth around age 10. I better start thinking about my response now.....

On a much more positive note - this morning was beautiful. A crisp 55 degrees, sunny, and I snuck in a 1-hour ride that was a great tone-setter for the day. The stress comes out through my tires....and by the end of the ride, the Wednesday forecast was looking great in my mind.

Work
Desntist Appoitment for Lyza
MTB ride with her at Campbell Mesa
Home for Dinner
Crash Out

Back to work - ugh.

Monday

Bride or Bridesmaid?

I'm not sure which is better, but I do know that no one remembers the bridesmaid unless she does kegstands and passes out on the curb. Even then - no one remembers her name - she's just "remember that chick......"

What I also know is that I have our Flagstaff Athletic Club racquetball league tournament this Thursday, and an MTB race on Saturday. I have a good shot at winning the racquetball tourney, and I have a reasonable shot at winning my age group in the MTB race. Pull a double? Maybe. Fall on my face and get crushed in both - hopefully not, but not totally out of the picture. ......not like I haven't done that before.

To say that I'm not thinking about these events this week would be a lie. The racquet is tuned, the bike is running great - and I REALLY want that MTB win some time in my life. I've never finished on a podium in my adult life. Racquetball comes easy to me for some reason, but winning MTB races has just been plain and simply unachievable. The only reason I think I can do this is because I know the course - it suits my strengths, and I know who I'm riding against. I dunno...I also completely doubt my chances on race day, and I tend to go too easy at the start in fear of blowing up. This time - I gotta hit the gas hard and just see what happens. Totally out of character for me, but I'm about 0-40 in the race win department - so its time to deploy a new strategy. All I want is to win my age group - but taking the class would be something sweet.

OK, Mr. selfish is done here. Back to work. I got mouths to feed.
photo courtesy of Ellen Jo.....who else?!

Sunday

Plans always change...

My Sunday was looking good, until I had a semi-expected work commitment come through - unfortunately. I had a nice ride lined up, but, riding doesn't pay the bills.

We had a good weekend, plenty of time with Lyza - the two of us met up with D for dinner downtown last night, and before I knew it the day was done. D's new job is a trainwreck - which means it spills into other aspects of life. I feel for her - I've made a couple of bad job decisions in my life and they are often hard to recover from.

On the calendar:
8/25 - Absolute Bikes / Food Bank singletrack challenge
9:15 am ME
1:00 pm Lyza (kids race)

9/10 - Havasupai hiking trip with Dad/Uncle

10/6 - Epic Rides Tour of the White Mountains - 52 miles for me
Go HERE

The fall is shaping up nicely - now if we can just get D's job situation figured out.

Wednesday


Josh snapped a photo of Jean Short Jimmy



Tuesday

My Mp3

Is stuck in a time warp. See - I can't add or subtract tracks since it was purchased in 2001, and all of the fuctions except for VOLUME are working. So - I whipped it out the other night and realized, again, what a complete dipsh*t I am when it comes to music.

Did I choose any tracks on it from bands that people deem "good". Well - if you like(d) The Strokes, Good Charlotte, maybe a little Jay Z - well then you are good to go. The problem is that I also have The Bullet Boyz, Y&T, Lil' Kim, Default, and freakin' Aerosmith on there too. There's even a Mariah Carey/NAS rap song on there from the late 90's.

I distinctly remember riding, as a kid, in my Mom's 1980 or 1981 Chevy Citation. She spat out this music on a station in Minneapolis coded KS95. It would be the equivalent of today's AOR (Adult oriented radio). In other words, vanilla.....bland, crappy bands like The Captain and Tennille, The Carpenters, Barry Manilow, and even John Travolta's solo career. DAMN - no wonder my musical taste is warped.

Now I go to Itunes, and Napster - look at the "new music" and basically say to myself - WHO ARE THESE BANDS, as I frantically search for my comfort music from bands like Van Halen, Journey, Aimee Mann, and my all-time home girl Erykah Badu. I'm already projecting a date of June 12, 2009 when Lyza is riding in my car and says "Dad - why do you listen to this Rolling Stones stuff - they suck". Then I'll go into detail about their 1998 Bridges of Babylon tour, how great they were in the 60's and 70's, and once I finish my diatribe I'll look over and she'll have her I-Pod tuned to the latest reincarnation of Justin Timberlake........Justin who?

Monday

Jean Shorts Jimmy

So going back to last Thursday, I played a racquetball match against a guy who I named "Jean shorts Jimmy". I still don't know his name. Apparently, he was league champ last winter. I describe him as 6' 3", probably about 205 to 210, and no sh*t - he was wearing mid-thigh length jean shorts and some Nascar t-shirt. I had just had a Corona, and I had no idea who he was, or if he was good or not. He was good.

The first game went so fast my head was spinning. He got off to a 9-0 lead, and the game ended 15-9. He would announce the score like Micheal Buffer - you know - the famous ringside announcer. "Twwwwwwwelllve - Eiiiiiiight" or "12 over 8", or "12ski to 8ski". Five to Five was "I can't drive 5 to 5". It was funny for 3 minutes, and then I wanted to take his head off. I waxed him in the second game - 15-9. We were off for a tiebreaker.

Well the whole damn league stopped and watched us play on the glass court. We have identical games, and it went the distance. He prevailed when I made an honest mistake and thought we were playing to 15 when in fact we play to 11 on the third game. I lost 11-9. He was whooped, I was tired, and I'm looking forward to playing Jean Shorts Jimmy again.

On a bad note, I was so f'n sore the rest of the weekend from that max effort, that I rode like a wuss. Good thing we only did 30 miles on Sunday or I would have croaked.

Happy Monday Jean Short Jimmy

Thursday

Remember when...

I threw down that stupid diatribe a couple of days back about selling the house, and working for charity? Well f*ck that. As my rich-ass friend Aidan once said sarcastically as he left a casino when we called him a pus*y for not doubling down on a 10 with a 6 showing "I got mouths to feed".

I also like my house. I like it so much I'd get a second job to stay there if I ever had to. It's 100 YARDS to one of the best singletrack networks in the state - hell - the southwest. It's 1 mile from Lyza's school, and its 1.5 miles to the front door of Dana's job. I'm a rambling liberal idiot sometimes....

So on that note, I love my new (used) Bimmer. It f'n flies, has a rockin' stereo, and it has a glossy silver plated license plate ring around a fat-ass BLING BMW logo in place of the front license plate. Watch me comin' in your rearview - that's right - motherf*cker.

I'm as confused as they come.....I can't wait to beat the shit out of a few dudes on the racquetball court tonight. 1:40 'till gametime, and then a couple of Corona's to wash down the day. YEAH baby.
Last Days of Summer Vacation

I took yesterday off (working Saturday to make up for it) and just hung out with Lyza. We went to watch the Arizona Cardinals practice in the AM, went for a bike ride on some easy singletrack with the dogs, hit the pool in the afternoon, brought her friend Jackson over for some dinner - and bam....day over.

She said: "Dad - I don't want you to get older like Grandma. Can you stay 39, and I'll stay 6....well maybe 10". I thought that was great. I'll always be 39 as far as I'm concerned.

School starts next week - and eventhough its not like we don't have fun everyday, its different on summer break. I hope I can remember this stuff since I already forget where the hell my wallet is every other week.

Racquetball tonight - I'm gonna take it easy so I can ride like a man posessed this weekend. Next race is the local single speed event on 8/25. Lyza is in the kids race. Good times!

Monday

Time may change me, but I can't change time

Sold the Jetta TDI today - 4 years after I bought it new. Loved it - I'll get another one if the Good Ol U S of A starts selling clean diesel fuel.....
Registering the ultra-used BWM 525I tomorrow. 250K on it - but it drives like a dream
Took the extra cash and paid down the Subaru.

I'm sick of cars being such a big part of my financial life. What a waste of money and finite resources.

I have an idea, and I'm really starting to think more about it. Sell the house, buy a modest condo/house and put enough down on it to have an ultra cheap-o house payment. Work 32 hours a week for money + one day for charity.

What the hell has happened to me? Let me just say that working to put money in other people's pockets is becoming more and more shallow everyday. It's becoming clearer each day as to what I should do to get off this train, but I have a ways to go before I can figure this out.

Time is ticking by, but in the big picture - slowly. Regardless, when and will I even have the stones to go against everything I believed in up until a few years ago? The great thing is that D would support me 100%. I need to think about this for a while.

Lyza is back to feeling great after her tooth infection- healthy and happy. She's one of the brightest stars in my sky. I pulled out her first tooth at the bank today - yup, just reached in and yanked it out after she mocked me to try and pull it. She laughed out of initial shock, and if I could have captured the astonishment on her face - I could have sold it as a great picture. Work sucked today, but I forgot about it in that very instant.
I am my Dog

Labs play until it isn't fun anymore. Our dog Jamocha, just sits down under a tree when its too hot or too far. That's kinda how I race bikes.

Saturday's start was moved to the base of Purgatory Resort, meaning another 200' of climbing at the gun. Only 65 riders showed up this year - and based on the vibe, I think this event is dying. Word has spread that it's either too muddy or too cold. Well - I enjoyed the start this time. I was feeling good, I passed my fair share of riders on the climb and didn't get passed, and hit the 2-track road in the first 3rd of the group. The 2-track felt great, and I rode with a couple of guys who were cool enough to chat while we pounded out 8 miles on the road. Then - as usual - it all went to hell.

The next singletrack section is just 2 miles long. But its uphill to 11,000 feet, and the trail WAS a stream. Water was everywhere, and although the mud wasn't sticky, it wrecked disc brakes, sealed bearing cartridges were sealed no more, and in general - everyone's drivetrains were trashed. I got to the checkpoint at mile 16, and as I was finishing eating and lubing my chain, my bud Jeff from Sedona rolled in. This was his first start, and he was lookin' good. I rolled out as he rolled in, and didn't see him again until the finish area.

I'd describe the rest of the ride in detail, but, that would be a waste. It was rocky, wet, muddy, and I had a singlespeeder using me as a pacemaker for 12 miles straight. Fortunately, you get to descend the ski slope that you climb at the begnning, and that is always awesome. I passed a couple of dudes who were tumbling down the mud/roots, and finished in 4 hours 39 minutes - 1 minute off my best time at the event. I believe I was the 20th person across the line after the first lap out of 65. I beat Jeff by 25 minutes, which I get to give him sh*t about now for the rest of the year. Considering the mud, and the fact that I'm 4 years older that when I posted my best time - I felt pretty damn good. I had no interest in going back up that slope for another lap. Bottom line...the FUN was over.

People who thrive at these events, love to suffer. They love to finish what they started regardless of how long it might take. I have a lot of admiration for them.

I like to suffer while I race, but after a certain point - its not a race anymore and its just a matter of battling your own psyche. My psyche said "Enjoy the rest of the day". My psyche is weak, and I like that. I know I could have finished a second lap in under 5.5 hours, but I also know that I would have been bitter doing it. Instead, I hit the hot springs down the road, napped for 2 hours, and had a great stir-fry dinner.

Next event - the locals only race for pride and no prizes around Fort Valley on 8/22. 26 miles, all fast - maybe 2 hours of riding max. I can't wait!

Thursday

Squirty had a nerve infection under a tooth - poor thing looked like a squirrel with about 10 acorns in her left cheek. We got her hooked up with antibiotics, some food she could eat, and some rest - and I rolled into work at 5pm as a result.

Haven't packed sh*t for Durango

Bike needs some tuning

I haven't eaten or had enough to drink today

Good thing I'm not getting paid to ride - rather - this race will cost me about $8 per mile once I figure in lodging, gas, food, entry fee etc for D and I. That's kind of a sick way to look at the fact I'll be hurtin' after this one. I could think of some better ways to spend $512, but then again, some ancient philosopher once mumbled "great suffering brings to light all the sh*t you should be doing better and taking more responsibility for". I made that up, but maybe I'll get something out of this besides a medal for finishing in under 12 hours, saddle sores, and a broken down bike.

Goal = 10 hours
I would do cartwheels if I finish in 9:30.
I'll take a victory lap around the parking lot ass-naked if I (butt) crack 9 hours.

Race report on Monday....

Tuesday


The Jetta is gone - sold....and I found this sweet ride in its place. My insurance went up a bit...

Monday


5 Days 'till....



Friday

SLOW Friday

It's Lyza's birthday today - 6 years old. The party is tomorrow at the athletic club pool. 7-10 kids plus parents should be close to controlled mayhem. I can't believe she's 6 already. More on the pool bash tomorrow.

I put in an easy 1-hour effort this morning on the singlespeed. 2 hours tomorrow, and 4 hours Sunday and that's it for training for the Durango race. Next week will consist of a 1-hour ride each day (M-Th) on the road bike at a very moderate pace. I will need the rest.

D's last day at Gore is today. Wow. Leaving the corporate life for a small shop downtown. Fortunately - she works for the Patagonia - which means PRO DEAL. No bennies, not a lot of pay, but a great work environment. She's excited about it and so am I.

Have a great weekend

Wednesday


Professional sports have officially "jumped the shark" for me. Gone are the days of 'incredible achievements', and players being role models. The only glimmer of these attributes remains every 4 years at the amateur events of the Olympics. Steroids, blood doping, testosterone injections, and off the field/court legal issues have pretty much stolen the headlines. The thought of Michael Vick being involved in dog fighting makes me want to hang his ass Middle-East style. Kids and Dogs are off limits as far as I'm concerned. You don't mess with them because they can't or don't know when to defend themselves.

Sure, there are some incredible achievements, and some athletes probably could be role models - but how do you know? When Vino tested positive for blood doping yesterday at Le Tour de France, I just wanted to barf in my mouth and swallow it back down to recreate the sting. The guy had attained a status as a never-say die rider who always put his best effort out there. He didn't always win, but he went as hard as he could. Maybe the pressure to win got to him, and he caved by doping.

So, just remember its only entertainment. Putting athletes on pedestals is unfair to us and them.

Tuesday


Li Lo (aka Lindsey Lohan) taken - ta da! This morning at 1:34am. That's what a BAC of .13 plus a few grams of Coke and not a lot of sleep will do to ya...



Top 5 trainwrecks of 2007

1.) Mr. President

For which I have to say, he may be the HR King, but Hank Aaron will always be the standard bearer of the record until A-Rod the 32+ million dollar man breaks it.

4.) Li Lo (see above)

5.) Paris (you know the one I mean)
On a better note, did you watch the debate last night? It was nice alternative to a white guy in a suit lobbing questions for candidates to duck, but it was a little too hokie for later this year and into January when the running gets serious. Good fun. I can't wait to see the Republicans (guess what - 8 white guys in suits!) when they get You-Tubed in September.
On to Wednesday....
http://ibelievevino.com/

Check it out....
There was a break in the weather this morning...

As in, it actually stopped raining for more than 6 hours. So, rather than get up early and go to work, I got up early and hopped on my bike. Yeah - imagine that. So I go explore a new set of trails I had heard about, but had never ridden, It was one of those days where I wasn't amped up to ride as hard as I could - so taking it a little slower on some new terrain was just the ticket. Riding some new singletrack that paralleled Snowbowl road, I came across a group of maybe 8-10 deer. They were following the same trail I was on, and always stayed about 50-100 feet in front of me looking back every 15 to 20 seconds to make sure I wasn't getting too close. Their movement was as effortless as an American with a shopping cart and less than 10 minutes in a Wal-Mart, cutting and dashing at will. Eventually, they let me pass by heading up the hillside and I was kinda sad to see them go. It was kind of foggy like that opening scene in Gladiator - with a bunch of deforested sections where they were thinning the forest for new growth. The deer only added to the surreal feeling of being on a movie set.

I was then dumped back onto my regular trail network, and hit the Sunset climb with eveything I had - and then continued up up up up to the sky. Coming down featured two non-catastrophic wrecks due to being over confident on some rough stuff. Cocky? Yeah. I learned from that with the rash on my legs, and the dent on the back of my helmet.

The Cannondale is riding tight - just an all around great bike. I'm way more careful on it than when I ride the singlespeed because its just a lot more fragile. Pivot points, proprietary suspension, carbon/aluminum/plastic frame mix, and....well....after the upgrade it wasn't cheap. 10 days until pain to the 9th degree at the MTB 100 in Durango. I can't say I'm not a LOT nervous about it.

So here I am at work, paying the price for that 3+ hour stomp this morning. I'll have to hang around until 8pm to get my sh*t done. 6:30 if I decide to bail and make up the difference tomorrow. 5:30 if I say F*ck it and just go home. I think I might opt for door #3.

Friday

A good night on the racquetball court, as I beat a lefty and a guy with a cannon forehand - but not a lot of fitness. That's 4 matches, 4 victories, and a tourney coming up in 4 weeks. I love this game.

I'm ready for the weekend and its only 9am. My sister gets to go back home to Minnesota for 2 weeks starting today. Lucky duck. Although, its pretty nice here now that we have the rainy season in full swing.

PHAT Singlespeed ride planned for tomorrow - 5 hour funfest starting at 5am. Solo. Its kinda my religion, ya know?...

Enjoy the weekend...

Thursday

From Big Jonny - - - - THIS. Play the video but pee first and have nothing in your mouth, unless you’re a young Republican, then we know what you have in your mouth.

2 hours on the C-dale last night straight up and then straight down. For some reason, I like my bike again. Happy Freakin' Thursday

Wednesday

It's amazing what a couple of hours in the saddle - after work - will do for my head. The sun does shine, I'm not going to take someone's head off tomorrow on the r-ball court, and I have a new revised schedule for Lyza that should make all of our lives better.

That ride last night worked me, and I'm wondering how I'll survive 10 hours in Durango - as 6 hours has been my longest hard effort this spring/summer but, who cares?! I've got a good bike, gels and bars, and E-caps to get me through. All I need is a shot of EPO and I'm there. OK - not really, but it wouldn't hurt.

Went out to Thai last night with D. Good food, a 22oz Kirin.....nice.

Tuesday

Mr. Brightside:
-D's last day here is on 7/27
-We're scaling back and getting ride of this - I'm all about carbon emission reduction, and I might even get one of these
-Squirty goes back to school on 8/16 (month out)
-It has actually rained here 4 of the last 5 days
-I am ready to rage on the racquetball court tomorrow
-My singlespeed continues to be the rockstar bike - ZERO, zippo, nada, zilch repairs/flats/ other than two new sets of brake pads since October and more than 1000 miles on the original tires.

Mr. Bitter:
-Squirty is having some anxiety about going back and forth from parent to parent....I KNEW this was coming soon.
-I'm feeling the effects of pushing a big gear, and I need to drop to a 32x19. It's just a pride thing - nothing more.
-For the first time this year, riding a bike feels like a chore - an effort - it truly is time for a couple months off after Durango on 8/4.

Oh there's more, but at least you know what's in my cabeza today.



Yesterdays