We stepped off the plane in Flagstaff....

and it was 35 degrees. That was 50 degrees warmer than Minneapolis on Sunday morning where the temp was a brutally cold -15. Honestly, I forgot that REAL winter means that your car struggles to turn over, your nose hairs stick to the frozen membranes in your nose, and when someone in your family suggests an after dinner walk - you all move to the family room and play cards or sip an after dinner drink. I said to my Dad something to the tune of "Man, you gotta be tough to live here considering it can be 105, or -35 over the course of a year". He quickly replied "not tough, just stupid". He's still bitter about ovarian cancer taking out his wife, so chalk that reply up to 50% anger, and 50% truth.

Michigan is actually losing population, and it ain't about the cold - it's about an economy that is pretty depressed. I really enjoyed living there in the early to mid 1990's, but when you look at places like Saginaw, Flint, and Jackson it makes you realize how tough it is to live there. Mitt Romney took a harder than expected win there over Johnny Maverick primarily because he's a very successful businessman who preached a dedication to turning around the auto industry. He didn't mention squat about how he would do that, and I sure hope his vision isn't predicated on gas/oil machines.

So the democratic primary is on Feb 5th in AZ, as it is for most states. As a registered dem, I'm still on the fence about HILBAMA. John Edwards is done in my book, and I find myself caught in a position of pulling for the dem candidate that matches up the worst against McCain. I personally think that if McCain gets the GOP nod, even if it is solely due to his hot wife who by the way is the daughter of Hensley Distributors - the state Anheuser Busch rep - then there is no question in my mind that he wins the election in the fall. Call me crazy, but I think that the key to the election is not which minority dem candidate wins the primary....nope - it's who wins the Republican primary because if it's anyone other than McCain the dems will win. You know what? I'm cool with that. Cheap Thrill Hill, Obama, or McCain would all put a smile on my face.

And speaking of feelin' good - I managed to survive 55 minutes on the rollers today as I watched a rerun of the 2003 Tour, the one where Lance almost loses to Jan Ullrich. This isn't the one that convinced me that Lance doped like everyone else - that was in 2004 when he chased down Filippi Simeoni with an axe murderer stare on his face....those two had some bad blood (sorry about that) over doping scandals. Anyway, it felt good to move my legs again. Our Old Pueblo team consists of:

Jeff - hasn't ridden since 'Nam because he blew up his hotel staff and is working all the shifts himself.....training hours - 0 Good thing Jeff doesn't know he's doing the run for the Le Mans start or he might be panicking right now.
Eck - bad back, but is on the mend.......training hours - a few
Me - no motivation, working 55+ hours the next couple of weeks, and would rather be boarding....training hours - not much, but don't call it a comeback when I tear it up next week - 'cause I was never down
Josh - Just married in Jamaica, and now invested in some $6,000,000 crash course training system. training hours - top secret

I'll be ready, and I bet everyone else will make it there in good shape too - it's just a tough road this time o' year.

'Night

Steve Czaban (channel 142 on your XM dial from 6am-9am Eastern)....does a great bit once in a while called "I'm so done with....". Well here's my offering:

I'm so done with the newest entry into the cliche hall of fame: "At the end of the day". For example:

Random Jock: "At the end of the day, we just has to goes out there an win"
Random CEO: "_(fill in company name here)________'s success is dictated by numbers. At the end of the day, if we sold our quotas then we will be a success"
Any politician: "It's about caucusing for me - and I ask each and every one of you to caucus for me, and at the end of the day we'll see who wins, and with your support it will be us together......
Joe Blow: "Yeah, I f*cked up and lost my job, my Camaro was re-po'ed even though it's an '84, but I was able to get re-hired after they found out it was Bubba who shut off the fryer. At the end of the day, It's all good (double heinous cliche there), now let's put on some Kid Rock and get high.

Jesus H Christ I think I heard it at least 20 times yesterday, even some dillweed at the airport on his stupid bluetooth was spewing it - while talking about how he brought his A-Game to a sales meeting. That had me snickering, especially since he was about 15 years my junior.

I first heard the cliche when it wasn't a cliche. Jaymes Humel was my boss here.
This guy was a classic, hard driving sales guy. Stood 6', drank Rogaine and Espresso from 5am - 10am easy, with a 'heater' in the afternoon just to stay awake. The f*cker commuted from Anthem to Clarkdale, AZ in a lowered, that's right, a lowered white Miata with custom rims and ultra low profile tires. He unfolded his body from that car, grabbed his TUMI briefcase, and strutted into the office with more confidence than George Bush at a Republican fundraiser. Gold chains, marginal hairline, small gut, but you could tell he was THE SHIT from his little hometown outside of Cleveland. I can't even imagine how much he was dying to return for his high school reunion - he was that confident. Jim could sell a bible to a Buddhist, or a vibrator to Mother Teresa. We sat down on my first day to talk, and I was brimming with confidence about selling these polyolefin-compatible graphics, and how excited I was to be working a straight 9-5 job. He says to me, he says "Chris, I'm gonna cut to the bottom line here 'cause I don't waste words on staff. You get on that phone, and sell these graphics because nobody else has what we have - period. Most people will tell you to f*ck off, but you'll make a few sales too. At the end of the day, it's about your successes, and the failures - f*ck em. Who cares.

Back then, it wasn't cliche - it was a way to truly measure my success. Now? Well now, Lord willing, I'll just give 110% and take it one day at a time. At the end of the day I hope to have won your vote, and life is what it is, but I hope to at least get my piece of the pie.
___________________________
Hours on the bike the last 14 days - squat
Hours spent working out in some capacity - maybe 3?
weight gained in 14 days - could be 2-3 pounds
Sweet - looks like I'm on a great training plan for a 24 hour team bike race in less than 30 days.

I'm dreaming of this, this, and I was dreaming of this......but I didn't get in. I was pretty psyched about the possibility of getting into the SSWC, but I'm sure my lack of 'palmares' contributed to the fact that I didn't make the cut. The first two events/places are slated for February visits. We have a sausage fest of guys going to Utah for 4 days of boarding, skiing, beer, gas, trash-talk and not a whole lotta sleep. Then Old Pueblo which will prove to be merely a way to train for the spring/summer events. I haven't ridden a bike in 2 weeks, and I need to get through this stretch of commitments before that starts again.

In between errands for Pops today, I got in 1/2 hour of skating at the rink, and then I popped over and rented Kill Bill Vol. 1. Yes - I know, I'm only what...5 or 6 years behind the release date? It was worth it. Uma Thurman is smokin', Tarantino wrote a great script, and it's definately worth the $2.00 rental. You don't have to look too hard for the dark humour either - it comes at you like splattered blood, and there's plenty of that.

Tomorrow, family starts arriving for the weekend memorial. Thankfully so, because I'm ready for a reprieve. If you offered me a Vicodin with a beer chaser, I'd take it right now....turn on a movie I've seen before, and just feel the calm come over my body. I remember getting a 'scrip for Percocet and one for Hydrocodone when I had surgery, and I'd love to revisit that lucid feeling right now. However, I have neither in front of me. But I do have a pint of Haagen Dazs. That's going down right now.

My skates, my lovely hockey skates, check 'em out!

You know you love Fergie....(sorry Mom, you won't know what the f*ck that meant).

Let me tell ya, if I didn't have them with me I'd be going nuts right now. Two one half hour sessions of gassers has left me gassed. I didn't think I could sweat when it's 3 degrees out, but I'll be damned if I didn't nearly puke last night after 30 minutes of windsprints. O'ccourse, skating 20 minutes after a huge dinner probably contributed to that nauseated feeling. Feeling Minnesota?

Pops is in Defcon 3 mode, and there's not a safety pressure valve. He could blow at any minute trying to organize details, and I'm standing aside and just offering help when he needs it. It's pretty easy for me to be a little bit critical from the sideline, especially when he's been terse, short, and the lack of balance in his life right now is taking its toll on him physically. However, I don't know what I would do if one of my girls died. With that being said, I'm doing my best to not overreact to his harsh edge, and I'M THE ONE BLOWING OFF STEAM - via ice skating on the local rinks.

The rest of the familiy arrives on Thursday and Friday, and that will be a welcome relief. We should have most of the major details wrapped up today (catering, service, family dinner arrangements, and airport pickups). I think I'll rent some pathetic plot action movie tonight and just get lost in it after one more session on the rink.

Leinie's, windchill, and bland food

F'n A. Back in Minneosta for sure when you add these elements into the already strangely but not so strange culture here. It's not that its any different from visiting any other place - we all have our oddities. But I'll be damned over the following:

1.) Minnesota has tough Mom's. Wanna know why? I drove up to an outdoor rink to do some skating. The place is packed with a birthday party. Are the kids and the parents in the warming house? Heck no, they are outside in 9 degree weather having a barbecue on the grill while the kids are sledding and skating.

2.) Caribou Coffee..almost like a little step sister of Starbucks. I think they have a nice corner on the market and Starbucks is not nearly as dominant here. PLUS - you can order small, medium and large drinks instead of the stupid Tall, Grande, Venti.

3.) The political slant is definately left - and I like that. However, nobody seems to like the cheap shots that the candidates throw around like syringes in a football locker room. Whoever wins Minnnesota's caucuses will likely be the blandest, milquetoast candidates out there. It's ironic too since the state took a flyer on Jesse Ventura a few years back when the 'old guard' fat white guys got stale. It's almost as if there is rebellion and angst in the residents, but only if you tick them off.

Spent the day running errands for Pops, and now he's trusting me to cook dinner. Seitan/Broccoli/Potato stir fry with a salad. Look out for a potentially sour stomach in about an hour. That's why I bought the 3.99 6'er of Leinenkugel's original - that'll kill any stomach virus.

Welcome back to Minnesota

I'm home for a week to help out with any remaining details of my Step Mom's memorial service, and to be of support to my Dad. Tough times fo' sho. I just finished a weekend of Owner Meetings at work, which translated to a lot of stress and I'm glad they are done.

The mood here is purposeful, somewhat somber, but not bad at all. My Dad is hell-bent on delivering a great service for Penny's friends and family. The house looks great, and I applaud my Dad for stepping up HUGE. I think it's the first time I can remember him being a take-charge guy, as in clearly delivering to me/family what he wants to happen. I'm impressed, and happy for him.

I brought my hockey skates since I won't be riding a stationary trainer in a Goddamn gym for exercise. There's 10,000 lakes to choose from, so I'm pumped to hit the rinks and lakes for some exercise. Although, Friday's high will be 2.

Quick hits:
D is now enrolled in a Scottsdale AZ massage school. It's complicated.
John McCain is still rollin, rollin, rollin. LOVE IT.
I'm am so far behind on technology it's pathetic. I can't even discuss HD tv in public or I'll be ridiculed. Whatever...


Goodnight....

Vixen

Don't tell me you don't remember these babes.....if you don't well you're missing out on some lyrics that could really steer your life, into a gutter. In sifting through some old CD's I have, I came across some good stuff to share:

Kip Winger told us 'She's only 17, but she's old enough for me'. Kip was about 34 when he waxed those words of wisdom. I believe that his 1988 lyrics led to the No Child Left Behind program, but I can't be sure about that.

Cinderella said "You don't know what ya got, till it's gone". No shit? I didn't figure that out until I was 7 and I lost my Evil Kneivel over a cliff into some river outside of Stillwater, MN.

Slaughter mumbled "Up all night, sleep all day" Having worked in hospitality, that is an ode to Night Auditors who are grouchy, pale, crusty, and generally enjoy gay porn. Hey - whatever you're into, right?

Warrant cried "Where the down boys go, I wanna go where the down boys go" Well if Janie Lane is a 'down boy' then I'm headed the other f*ckin' direction. Have you seen that human train wreck these days? Holy crap, he's even played in Flagstaff, and you don't play in Flagstaff unless you are bluegrass, or desperate for a gig - and Warrant isn't strumming strings and singin' about prison breaks.

My hat goes off to the Independent voters in New Hamp because they have once again given Johnny Maverick a lifeline and a pulpit to preach from. As a registered Democrat, I get a lot of flack for supporting this guy. I mean hell, if we sat down to lunch, we'd see eye to eye on very few issues.

The reason(s) I'm all for Johnny Maverick are summed up in one word. Compromise. Yes, he and I see the immigration the same, but, in no way do we view the war with the same perspective. BUT, I believe his stance on the war could work even if it's not my preferred path. Privatized Social Security, the No Child Left Behind Act, and what the heck to do about Socialized (I know that word scares some of you) Healthcare? Me and Johnny Mav. would have opposing views on a lot of these issues.

Compromise means change, and this is the guy we need. He's Republican enough to bring the fat white guy vote, he finds all of the Independent voters with ease, and enough Dems will hop on board once Hilbama hit the wall in the real election.

Finally, how do you not go with the guy with the hottest wife?

I wish Johnny Maverick success, and although I'm not going to bet my house on it, I think he has a puncher's chance if he can keep the 'MO going down south.

Having been at work a lot over the holidays, I have taken every opportunity to get on the trails in between work and sleep. So far this week - 4 1/2 hours of riding. Today - I'm off to Phoenix for a company party, and on the way I'll be stopping for a little 3 hour mountain bike adventure at South Mountain Park. As much as I despise Phoenix, this park has it all. Steep drops, smooth granite, rocky and painful descents and climbs and above all - it'll be 72 this afternoon. Wrap it up with a big seafood dinner and call it a day.

HA HA! The Iowa Caucuses are today. It's amazing to me that this event has so much to do with an election that is 11 months away. I heard this morning that one candidate alone has paid for as many as 8000 television ads in Iowa. What the hell? Couldn't we use that money to, say, pay down the debt that our pathetic leaders have run up over the past seven years? My boy McCain will probably come in a distant 3rd or 4th place behind God-fearing candidates Romney and Huckabee.

D enrolled at NAMTI (Northern Arizona Massage Therapy Institute). She starts a 6 month program next week - graduating in June. Does this mean I'll get the spouse hookup with regards to massages? Heck no - I bet she'll be too tired to work out my kinks after 8 hours of class M-Th. BUT, I'm pretty excited for her and for us. It'll give her a new career path and a great opportunity to continue making a living in our little mountian town.

Snow tonight through Sunday means skinning up Snowbowl at sunrise. It should be a great weekend.

Did you get a few of those "year in review" letters that people like to write? I got one that was written in the third person! "Nancy decided to take up hiking, and found a wonderful outlet for her daily stress". Of course, that quote was from a letter written by.....Nancy.

So as a tribute, I figured I ought to at least give an old College try to authoring a quick year in review in the third person. Here we go:

Chris doesn't know what to make of 2007. He goes from a honey-do job of painting two bedrooms in January to losing his Step-Mom to ovarian cancer on 12/30. All Chris learned is that things happen fast, and if he doesn't make choices, then time will make the choices for him.

In between Chris saw his lovely wife die a slow death in the corporate world, spin out of that with some control looking for a path to take, and then re-inventing herself on 12/31 with the decision to attend a massage school in Sedona starting 1/8/08. He saw his daughter embrace school, cycling, skateboarding, and he learned through her a lot more about patience, and the importance of direct communication.

Chris found solace in race results, with a 2nd place in a hotly contested mountain bike race in August, and a 9th place in a tough 52 miler in early October. The rest of the races before and after were just that, races. A few crashes, a few mechanicals, and some frustrating results to fuel the fire to race more.

OK, enough of that...Happy New Year. Cheers to health, health, and more health. You can't have the rest of life without it.

CB

Just thinkin about summer, that's all

I think I figured out why I've been snowshoeing up Snowbowl at 5am for the past couple of weeks.


6 In The Morning

I read somewhere
once
about a writer
who
as he got older
no longer
stayed up late at night
chasing his demons

instead

he’d get up early
and grab the bitch
by the throat

I guess that’s why
I’m writing this
at 6
in the morning

Just a bunch o' random stuff to chew on

My Dad once said "Life's a bitch and then you die". It's not like anyone else hasn't said that a million times, but I think he really meant it when he said it 27 years ago, and I think if you asked him now he'd still say the same thing. I remember him saying it vividly when we were on a fishing trip.

I definately have a different outlook, and I think it goes a little something like this:
-Wake up and hit it...hard...everyday, but don't forget to stop every now and then to take inventory of yourself. Make decisions instead of time making decisions for you. karma is real. If you're not having fun then clarify why not, and make some changes -

Shallow, I know, but that's all I can come up with after 40 years. It's a good thing there are philosophers and therapists out there who actually put some thought into this stuff. OK - so I had some fun last night.....Me and D laughed a lot watching a movie, and then I got to go skiing this morning for a short bit. The temp was -4 at the top @ 7:00am, but the descent was great after another hike up to the top. We need more snow soon. I'm staying in shape with these hillclimbs, and I hope it translates to cycling fitness next month. The AZ racing calendar starts 1/19 for me in Phx.

On the campaign trail, things are gettin' kinda hectic in Iowa. Huckabee is making a nice run at the GOP victory, and Obama - thanks to Oprah - is digging into Cheap Thrill Hillary's "lead". I had a hilarious conversation with one of my right-wing friends last week. A friend who absolutely, positively will vote for the most Christian candidate egardless of his views of the socio-economic issues. He was pleasantly surprised to know that I'm still supporting John McCain in his bid in spite of my tree-hugger, liberal reputation. However, he isn't voting for McCain because he's not religious enough. McCain will probably not even make it out of the GOP primary because of voters like my religious buddy Ken. However if he does survive, McCain is the only guy in my opinion who can get Dem, GOP and Independent votes. Ron Paul - whatever. Guiliani, Thompson, Edwards - irrelevant. I think Huckabee will fall victim to his true self, when everyone is told of how intolerant he is of those with alternative lifestyles.

I don't care who you vote for next year, simply exercising your right is all I hope for. But if you're on the fence, look up McCain - and his Cougar wife - and give it some thought. He's realistic about getting out of Iraq, he's written a fair approach to solving the immigration issues, and he's a guy who is not afraid to say the unpopular thing because he believes it.

Back to life, back to reality...

After a 3-night hiatus in Tucson with family, I am back at work this week - yup, I'm working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It's not a big deal - Lyza is with her Mom for Christmas and now that we had a chance to catch up with family, working this week feels pretty normal.

Up at 4:45am this morning, drove to the base of the Snowbowl, and snowshoed up again. This time I took a longer route. 1.5 hour hike up, and 6 minutes to get down - I took my time since the hike hurt this morning. A couple of pitches were so steep, I was moving 3-6 inches at a time, and almost fell ass over tea kettle down the slope. It was a full moon, temps were warm in the teens, and the sun just hit the horizon as I turned my board downhill. My camera wouldn't even do it justice, so I'll bank the memory. I needed this bustout, after a few shitburgers the past couple of days.

1.) Of virtually no importance whatsoever, I believe I smashed my laptop screen by pushing the power seat button a little too much on the way home from Tucson. It's DONE - no screen left.
2.) Of huge importance, my Step-Mom is really hurting - she's resting comfortably on morphene - but she's struggling in her long fight with ovarian cancer.
3.) I can't even go into the 3rd one yet since I don't have all the details.

I had a great year in a lot of ways, but it just seems like things come crumbling down sometimes - all at once. Fortunately, I've learned a lot about resilience, persistence, and patience - ironically a lot of it from a 6 year old. F*ck - I'll need it to get through the next couple of months.

Hell - the Small Town Douche Bags are even falling down a bit. We may be down to 3 riders as one may have to bow out with a back injury. I guess in a sickly, suffering way I'm pretty psyched to bury myself into the ground Feb 15th in Tucson. I'd love to ride 100+ miles on that cactus filled dirt course - it would be great training for the real races that start in March.

I hope you have a warm, safe holiday season. Here's to a new slate for 2008. Personally, and politically (it's about time).

Images from the top of Arizona.....7:00am 12/16. The lifts weren't running yet. The snow was freshly groomed. Not a sign of wildlife, but an pinkish incandescent sunrise. Snowshoeing up took about an hour of hard work, but it was worth it. The winds were completely still at 11,500 feet, and you could see the south rim of the Grand Canyon to the north. Then.....a 3 minute plunge to the bottom on smooth snow. It was a great start to Sunday.

4-0....

When my Mom turned 40 I remember it being a 'sorta roast' from her friends. Over the hill comments, ect. I'm not really sure why 40 is such a landmark other than it usually means you're probably starting to slow down mentally, physically, etc... Well I turn 4-0 tomorrow. According to female, African-American rappers, "Age ain't nuttin' but a numba".

Yesterday was a blur. I left Flagstaff with Rob at 7:15am. It was 2 degrees. By the time we started riding in Sedona it as just below freezing - much, much better. We had a great ride on the frozen red dirt, which gradually turned to sticky mud as we wrapped up the ride around 11:45am. A good 3.5 hour ass pounding was just what I needed. Then over to work for 3 hours, and off to do some X-mas shopping.

I got Bodhi and Jamocha out at 9pm for an hour bust-out in the snow. Bodhi, being the young pup he is, found a porcupine, and now has 15 darts in his nose and face. I pulled two out and he's about done with me doing that. We're probably looking at a vet visit tomorrow morning to tranquilize his ass and pull them out. These goddamn dogs are a blessing, and an expensive one at that. I love the little guy though. He took his punishment, and he hasn't whimpered once. Hopefully he'll learn.

Up at the crack of ass this morning (5am to be exact). Picked up Aaron and we drove 13 miles to the base of the ski resort. Strapped on the snowshoes and walked up the slopes to 11,500 feet in a little over an hour. I was soaked with sweat, but man - watching the sun rise over the valley was friggin' spectacular. Pics to follow this week. All of that for one 3 minute bomber run down the mountain on the snowboard.....it was fresh groomed cordury - perfect for long carving turns. Now - it's 8:30am and I'm done for the day.....done working out, and on to cleaning the damn house. Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean sh*t - you still have to keep the place respectable.

I'm taking the day off tomorrow to ski free on my birthday. This time I'm not hiking up for one run down. It should be a good time, but I'll feel like a sandbagger. There's some real soul food in earning your downhill run.

Finally - the Small Town Douche Bags are officially a team at the 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo in February. We could be good, we could be marginal, but we'll have fun doing it.

Fryday bluddy Friday...

"It doesn't make me feel comfortable to see a guy walking alone carrying a shovel around the city. Snow shovels are okay, I'm talking about earth-moving shovels here. A guy carrying a shovel around at night has secrets, things you don't want to know. Carrying a shovel means that the person has either just dug up something or is on his way to bury something. And it's worse when you see the guy with the shovel walking around late at night, because then you know whatever needs digging can't wait until morning. If I was a cop I would probably get in trouble for profiling guys carrying shovels around because my only police tactic would be to follow these people until they lead me to the scene of their crime."

On another note, I won my 3rd consecutive racquetball tourney last night. I beat Paul the Caveman (He's hairy and he mumbles) in the final. He was pretty tired, and he didn't put up much of a fight. It's time to go pro. Semi-pro that is. Next league starts in Jan and I'm getting the upgrade. It really doesn't mean sh*t. Just better players, more responsibility to play and show up for tournaments, and a couple of free racquets and some shoes. All I know, is that its fun to play with the better players in the state, as it makes me work harder, and its humbling to get your ass kicked by the elite players.

Holiday Blues....

Three work-related holiday parties in 7 days has me about DONE with people I don't know very well, obnoxious food offerings, and free booze. As usual, none of this is about the spirit of giving. Then again, neither am I. I want:

This
This
This

Racquetball tourney starts tonight. I'm going for the 3-peat. On the line is a sweet Ektelon Racquetball bag. I want it, I need it, I love it.

Night Rider.....

That's my name. The days are too short. What's a self-professed addicted rider to do? Trainer- hell no. Rollers-not unless there's 6 inches of snowpack on the road.

I rolled out at 9pm to frozen ground, and a light dusting of snow. Traction was superb thanks to the flaky snow, and I climbed and climbed and climbed to warm up. At about 8,500 feet it was as if the last storm had laid a blanket of snow down. Instantly it was 6 inches deep, and as crusty as a high school girl's made up face. Rather than go back the way I came, I forged on. Ride - walk - ride - walk. Finally making it to Schultz Pass road. It was frozen like a skating rink, and I kinda skidded downhill for a mile until the snow relented.

Last Sunday was much better. Roadtrip to Sedona (I say roadtrip - but it is all of about 40 minutes). 58 degrees, sunny, and the red dirt felt like velcro. My new tire setup (Stans tubeless with WTB Exiwolf 2.3's) was amazing. Rear at 36psi, and front at 34psi. The only thing limiting me was my own fitness. We hammered off and on for 2.5 hours until I couldn't push the singlespeed anymore.

I'm committed to riding 6-8 hours per week. Not exactly road racing fitness, but certainly good enough to begin the state series in January racing mid-pack until I get my fitness back around April.

Check this one - My Uncle has become Mel Gibson. Not the racist drunk, nope - the Conspiracy Theory one. He thinks that 'secret societies' are convening to get Hillary into the White House. He isn't even a die hard Republican either. I had to laugh at that one. First - influential secret societies are typically made up of conservative white guys. So....I would tend to believe that these secret societies might be conniving to get, say, Mick Huckabee in office. Or maybe Ron Paul?

Happy f'n Thursday - and Fish - don't think I haven't thought about giving you sh*t about Jon Kitna's predicted 10 win season. Go Vikes...

Tribute to the last true stud of my lifetime..

Evel Kneivel died, age 69. Beat up, beat down, broke, spent, and in a hella lot o' pain. Maybe 6-9 months ago, USA Today did about a full page story on him. They listed the number of broken bones, successful and unsuccessful jumps, operations, and the fact that he was piss-poor now. He's also found Jesus through it all.

I saw this guy as an icon as a kid. His insane jumps televised on live network television. Crashes were as frequent as successes so you never knew if he could pull a jump off. The distances seemed ridiculous, the obstacles - too numerous. Cars, vans, trucks, lions, crates of rattlesnakes. Even at the end of his career he tried to jump the Snake River Canyon in a rocket.

There are a lot of young dudes doing incredible things on their motocross bikes these days. Backflips, crazy aerials, you name it. These are conditioned athletes on machines built for stunts. Kneivel? Rode a stock motorcycle with a reinforced frame which of course, severed at the welds several times. His suspension often kicked him up over the front end on a landing, and I would have to imagine that the vertebrae in his back were really what 'suspended' his landings. Crazy, crazy, crazy. Truly crazy. Look up his crashes and successful jumps on youtube and you'll see just how ridiculous this guy was.

Fortunately, I'm a pussy and I couldn't bring myself to the point of wrecking myself just to 'pull it off'. Kneivel was the guy I could never be - so even today I ride my bike vicariously through him, and when I see the next 6 foot drop in the slickrock.....I step off, walk down, and think "damn, Kneivel would ride this with a trike". There is nobody who had his stones, and there is nobody now who would even consider doing what he did for the money he made which by today's standards would amount to squat.

Mr. Kneivel - rest in peace

Another one of your fans

Key West is often talked up as the 'Southernmost point in the US'. Actually - South Point, HI is the southernmost point in the US. As usual, entrepreneurs have opened the Southernmost restaurant in the US, the Southernmost farmers market, and the Southernmost vegetable garden in the US. OK - I made those last two up, but I did see several shlocky signs that tried to capitalize on this. What this place is really? The damn windiest point on the island. Sustained winds of 35+ during the day. The surf was anywhere from 8-12 feet, and upwards of 30 on some days. Those giant windmills were a sign of times gone by - replaced by new ones that were about 2x as big - but impossible to get a good picture of. Even these had blades that were probably 30 feet long on each side.

That's my goofy ass on the southernmost rock I could find without getting pulled into the ocean. Next stop would be Antarctica unless you could paddle out of the current to Fiji. One other cool thing about this barren place? They catch trophy size Marlin from the cliffs. 1,000 pounders. There was a 35 foot cliff some goofball tourists were jumping off of into the clearest water I could see. However, the thought of dancing with a 1,000 pound marlin overrode my desire to make the jump.

Volcanically heated tidepools. When the swells weren't crashing, it was like the greatest negative edge pool ever built by nature

After a 2 week hiatus from riding bikes, I swung a leg over the old Cannondale last night and left the house around 9pm. The wind was light, the sky was clear and it was F'ing cold. 19 degrees I think when I left. The climbs were warm, the flats were cool, and the drop back down to Flagstaff was bone chilling. I had neoprene booties on, and my right foot still felt like a frozen paw.

It was worth it.

Driving in to work this morning I saw a HUGE bus with Michael Myers on it - seems they are filming part of Halloween 7 in Flagstaff. Perfect spot if you as me. There are plenty of local derelicts to get rid of. I'm gonna stop back there on the way home and see if they need an extra. I'd LOVE to get down with Mike Myers. I still have the Halloween theme song as a ringtone on my cellie, although I've been playing the exorcist lately. Am I crazy? I think I was dropped as a child.

Day 1 of any trip always features some ups and downs....

Traveling to Kona via Honolulu takes a while even from Phoenix. Nearly 7 hours of flight time plus a 2 hour layover meant a long day. Fortunately, I spotted this assclown on Hapuna Beach outside of Kona on day 2. Yup - that's a smiley face tattooed on his right cheek, and a Banana Hanger swimsuit. Too bad you can't see the pierced nipples in front with the girlfriend that was wayyy past her prime. The great thing is that this dude was uber confident. Strutin' from the water to the beach. Indeed all that and a bag o' chips.

I'm off to the Big Island....

Update on the 27th. Happy Thanksgiving!
CB

F*cking Vikings....

It's just a reminder that pro football is just entertainment, and the Packers are pretty good at entertaining. I hope they take the NFC and stun the Pats in the Super Bowl - and then Favre can ride off on a Quad with a gun rack into the Louisiana sunset with a bottle of vicodin to boot.

I am so ass over tea kettle when it comes to getting the hell outta town on Thursday at 4am. As in, I have a sh*tload to do and no time to do it in. Of course, I always find time to ride and on Sunday I burned the old lungs to max capacity in a 3-man 'race' around the front side of Mt. Elden with AK47 and Ellsie. AK rode some ridiculous 30 races or some sh*t like that this year so he's in great shape and Ellsie has been trail running to get back in shape. Well AK wanted to go HARD and he hammered the flats. I got him on the climbs by a hair and dropped him on the descents. The thing is, I think he thought we weren't racing, and I did. So he probably went home and installed a ceiling fan, did some work around the house etc....while I went home, ate, put my legs up, and went to bed. Taking 12 days off the bike will feel great, but I'll be itching to get back on in December. Racing starts again Jan 5th with a short track burner down in Phoenix.

Popped..

Right in the eye with a racquetball last night. Good thing I had protective glasses on. I could see the ball coming at the last second, but there was no way I could even react. Now I have a headache, and a nice cut on the side of my nose (which bled like a streambed in AZ.....fast at first, then bone dry). BUT, I still have two eyes. Two weeks, two head rattling injuries - I love racquetball.

Before that little session of fun last night, I managed to squeeze in nearly a 1 and 1/2 hour ride on the SS. Beautiful fall day, warm temps, great trails, and virtually no one on them. You have to be done by 5:45 now - and I came in a bout 10 minutes before dark.

Lyza is back tonight. No plans this weekend - just the way I like it. I swear I could never be one of those super-mom's because I have no idea what's for school lunch on Monday, I have to think about the acronym PTA first before barely reciting what it means, and as far as preparing for show and tell on Tuesday? Are you kidding me? Good think Lyza is an independent kid to a certain degree.

It looks like D is definately going to massage therapy school in Scottsdale starting on 1/14. I am 100% behind this decision. It's a skill you can take anywhere, people pony up for it without hesitation, and it works. I get sh*t all the time for having shaved legs, but dude......it ain't about cleaning crash wounds when you wipe out (although it helps) - its about getting a great massage and recovery.

Have a good weekend - go Vikes and I have a mancrush on Adrian Peterson.

Surfin

We had a Red Rock Racing team meeting last night......you know, getting our clothing orders together, looking for some more fast guys/chicks to round out our race team and talking about sponsors. 9:00pm hit and GP and I decided a night ride was in order. The clouds were above, so it felt warm.

There's something just incredibly cool about night riding. The trails become 'new' again since you can't see peripherally, and ultimately you slow down a bit. Then -once your adjusted to the night, it almost feels like you're surfing terra firma. We did an easy 1.5 hour out and back. 3 showings of wildlife, 1 camper (sorry about the HID lights pal!), and not much else. Considering the weekend I had of all work and very little play, this was the highlight of the past 3 days.

It looks like D may be attending a massage school in Phx for 8 months starting in Jan. More on that to come.

CB

Yo

It's 67 degrees today when we should be around 52. No snow, no rain....the trails are dusty, and I'm ready to shift gears. Literally. I rode the Scalpel this weekend for all of one hour, and realized how great gears are when you are suckin' ass at the end of a cycling season. Full suspension, 27 speeds, tubeless tires....all good.

I rolled down to Phoenix for my buddy A-man's 39th b-day. The dude who took him golfing - and in the process ensured a quality SURPRISE party as we all gathered in their absence - started puking around 7:30pm and never stopped. I held up my end as I had all of 2 bottles of Stella Artois beer and a glass of some outstanding Syrah. I was the soberest (is that a word?) person there. I sound like a douche bag, wanna-be rich guy poaching a party, but hey when somebody else is buying....right?! It was a great party, and Aidan is a great friend so it was well worth the drive down and back.

I'll post some halloween pics tonight. Gotta run now - work owns me this week. I can't wait for the Small Town D-Bags to descend on Tucson. Good times ahead.

CB

Today's Top Tramp Stamp....

I thought this blog needed a new look too.

Shattered…..

Pride and joy and greed and sex
That's what makes our town the best
Pride and joy and dirty dreams and still surviving on the street
And look at me, I'm in tatters, yeah I've been battered, what does it matter
Does it matter, uh-huh Does it matter, uh-huh, I'm a shattered
-The Stones

I am shattered. I played Dan Dan the Little Man last night in racquetball, and I was cruising to victory. The first game was 15-2, and I was leading the second game 7-5 when he crushed a forehand down the line and I went for it. I went too hard – and I couldn’t stop….and crumpled into the wall. The next thing I knew, I was on the ground looking up. My Oakley ½ Jackets did their job, as they exploded away from my face. The lens popped out, the arm broke free and the frames went flying. No cuts or scrapes, and they snapped back together. I think my headband helped too, because I only had a small knot on my forehead. About 45 seconds later – or so it seemed, my head was woosy and I was back up and playing. Damn close call. I wish I could say I made some dramatic shot – but I didn’t and I lost the point. My cabeza took a while to clear and I started to overheat and my legs turned to jelly. It was weird – possibly semi concussed? I lost that game, but I recovered in time to beat his ass 11-2 in the tiebreaker. Then came Mike the Loudmouth. Calling out the score in crazy clichés (5 to 5, Double Nickel, I can’t drive 55). He can take his lounge act to the next court, because I didn’t have the patience for it. Our match ended quickly as I wasn’t about to spend too much time on the court with him and I felt it was my duty to whitewash him. I went home, took a couple of Tylenols and crashed like a ton of bricks.

Holy crap this was a busy week with Halloween, and a lot of work mixed in. I’m headed out for a 4-hour fattie ride tomorrow morning in the pines, then off to work for 3 hours and then on the Phoenix for a b-day party. One of my college buds turns 39. He’s a spring chicken amongst the rest of us who start turning 40 next month. I have to say I’m pumped about turning 40 since I get to race in the 40-49 category soon.

Tech Notes:
-Rather than buying a new wheelset, I converted my Bontrager Rims with Stan’s Tubeless….$80 versus $450. Easy call there. new WTB Exiwolfs too.....28psi here I come!
-3 committed for Old Pueblo so far....anyone else wanna come play?

Enjoy your weekend, and go Vikes

Another weekend that rocketed by like a Josh Beckett fastball…

Saturday up early (see bike geek section below) – followed by raking and bagging 15 loads of fallen pine needles. Sunday was spent at work for 5 hours, followed by Lyza’s last soccer game, and a sweet visit to Target. If we had stopped at Olive Garden and Home Depot it would have been the All American Weekend. Don’t worry – we didn’t. Olive Garden has more saturated oil/fat than the former Exxon Valdez + they feature employees with FLAIR buttons. Home Depot has now officially become Chinese Depot since well over 51% of their products are made over ‘dere. Here’s a thought: Re-use other people’s discards (can you believe how much good sh*t you can find if you ask around…for free!) Also, frequent your local hardware store and pay the extra 8% to keep ‘em in business. OK – off my pulpit.

Bike Geek Section (warning – read only if you are a weight weenie, tech head, 2 wheel obsessed cycle junkie)
The test with the Stan’s ZTR’s paired up with the American Classic hubs was enjoyable – hell, it was the only thing that got me up at 5:50 on a Saturday morning. Let me just start by saying that when I left my house the sun was about 2 minutes from rising in the east and the orange hue was nearly blinding. I look to my left and the Hunter’s Moon was HUGE. It was truly one of those memorable sights where you say to yourself “I’m glad I woke up at the crack of ass for this”.

2 problems – first, I did not remove the 20tooth cog on the Stan’s wheelset. My wheelset features an 18 tooth cog. Second, the 2.3 high volume casing WTB Exiwolf tyres (do you like my Euro-trash spelling there?!) were significantly taller than the 2.1 Bontrager Jones XR tyres I’m shredding currently. SO – I couldn’t compare apples to apples on this test.

Net Result, Bottom Line, The Money Shot…….
Because of the larger rear cog, and the HUGE tires, I could not accurately gauge the impact of lighter rims when climbing technical stuff. What I did learn is this: The tubeless setup let me run a psi of less than 30. Talk about TRACTION. I got up and over everything without spinning out, and I felt like I had another ½ inch of travel on my hardtail RIG.

I believe that with the weight of 29” tires, any superlight rims have the potential of being made a moot point. For me, a middle to upper end line of rims (see Bontrager TLR’s) with a tubeless set up that allows around 27-28psi would be the ticket. This will save me some bread too.

Rest o’ the week…
I’m bailing on the MTB marathon this weekend in Phx. I’d rather ride in the pines up in Flag – and it won’t cost me $1 per mile. ‘Sides – I have a few repairs to handle on the Scalpel before its ready to roll again. We leave for Hawaii in a little over 2 weeks and I could use ever $$ I have for that bank buster. MAHALO baby, mahalo.

Modern Day Shakesperian Lyrical Poets

I'm ready for Funday Saturday. Racquetball went well last night. I pasted Softball Scott. The dude tore both of his hammies playing......are you ready for this.....SOFTBALL. Running the bases. Anyway, he has a cannon forehand, but he can't move much anymore, so I mercilessly just ran him from forehand to backhand and mixed up serves so he had a hard time getting to the balls. He started calling 'screens' and 'hinders', but it didn't matter.

Speaking of Hinder - could this be the single worst band in the history of Rock n' Roll. Check these deep, thought provoking, clever lyrics out....makes you wonder just who in the hell determines who gets recording contracts:

"I don't wanna know it's over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don't wanna know it's over
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What's in front of me
Cause the vodka's running on empty
I can't stay sober
If it's over "

Hey - I get a glimpse of Christmas this weekend. What's that you say? I borrowed a pair of Stan's ZTR 29'er rims laced to American Classic hubs to try for the weekend. Yup - I'll get to see what saving 350+ grams of rolling weight really means to a 29'er. I can't even wait for my ride tomorrow - it shoud be a blast!

Have a great weekend, and make sure you litter it with songs from Hinder, Hoobastank, Finger 11 and Tool - because if you like that crap you are a TOOL.

Finally, out of the f'n blue...

I felt strong again. I popped off a quick 1 hour singlespeed ride after work tonight, and I felt normal again. Damn - I think its a proven fact that I need to rock myself into the ground for 3-4 days of hard/suffering-type rides, rest for two days and then go shred it like a head of lettuce.

That 50 miler next Saturday is gonna be fun. One more training ride, and I am ready to rest and then rip. It should be a small field - maybe 10 riders max. I'll mark the 3rd place dude and make sure I keep him in my sights so I have a shot at the podium on the last lap.....unless he's too fast. Maybe he'll be slow and I'll pounce on #2 or #1. I've never outright won yet, so I'm gonna put the crack pipe down now.....but I'm racing to win that's for sure. As Josh said "go as hard as you can until you see the water cooler" I wonder if you put a pony keg of Red Hook Ale out there....I'd ride fast to that.

No shitburger for lunch today......just a nice burrito. It went down well. I'm ready for some more sh*t tomorrow, but that's tomorrow. As Sammy Hagar once said at a live concert in Fresno, Ca in 1991, "Tomorrow? F*ck tomorrow.....it's about RIGHT NOW". Well right now, I still have to do dishes, run a load of laundry, balance the chemicals in the hot tub, and sweep the f'n floor as Bodhi ate a plastic pitcher for lunch today - and left the remains on the living room floor. I'd call my life semi-charmed, and a lot less than glamorous.

The devastation in Southern California
has definately reached, and/or eclipsed Hurricane Katrina levels. I guess the only solace is knowing that our government seems a hella lot more prepared to deal with this type of disaster than before. Word via National Public Radio is that the state/fed/county officials are cooperating well to really help people. Hoteliers are selling rooms for 1/2 price to help stranded families and I would imagine that grocers and retailers are helping as well. It's always great to see how people respond in the event of a true emergency. All the greed instantly goes away and people are just there to help.

Although we had our fire here last summer, it was pretty small potatoes compared to this devastation. Sure, we were out of business for a week, but we didn't lose a thing - no structures, no lives. Just money which was recovered over time.

Make a red cross donation if you can...even $10 helps.

Steve has a take on this that hits home too....

Shitburger.com

Man, the shitburgers that I have been eating for the last couple of weeks are starting to accumulate. My gut hurts, my shoulders are tight, and my last three rides have been fun, but I have not been up to par. I mean I'm not stinkin' up the joint, but its almost like the passion to just rip is being kept down by the white man....wait, that's me.

Staffing at work is the primary culprit, and I honestly have NO IDEA what the hell we're gonna do after Dec 31st when the great state of AZ tries to enforce a no illegal alien policy. Tourism, construction, landscaping, restaurants, you name it - its gonna be f'd up for a long while.

Well - at least I did get in nearly 5 hours of singlespeed riding last weekend preceeded by 4 hours on the road. I'm outta here at 3pm today to de-stress.....of course the trade off is that I have to work from home tonight. It's worth it.

Happy f'n Tuesday

DNS

All you cycling fans out there know that DNS = Did not start. That was my status at the racquetball tourney last night. D had to work late, Lyza's soccer game ran over, and she had spelling words to study before Friday AM. Before I knew it, 8:00pm came and went and I wasn't playing. Ya know what? No big deal, because family comes first - and I'm not being cheeky with that comment. Fo' reals. Lyza passed her spelling test, and D keeps her job by showing up for a mandatory meeting. I still won the league, just not the tournament.

On a better note, I got in another 31 miles of outdoor riding this morning - that's 62 for the week with another 25-30 off road planned for tomorrow on the singlespeed. We had a warm spell blow through meaning 50's in the day and only 30's at night. Fall colors are peaked out right now, and I can't get enough of the Aspen trees changing to a luminescent yellow.

Wedding to attend tomorrow afternoon/evening, work Sunday morning (again), and then off for the rest of Sunday. Go Vikes - take the Cowboys to the house.

Supposed Former Beer Infatuation Junkie...

Yes Sheck, add Alanis to the list with Mimi, Aimee, and Posh

I am fully recovered beer snob. See there was a time when I only wanted a dark, imported, made by Monks, nearly unfiltered, full flavored brew with some hard to get rep and a unique bottle. I actually remember applauding a rant on some dude's website with the ridiculously overused cliche "life is too short to drink lame beer". Like those words haven't been uttered for nearly every high end product out there - or at least the well-marketed and positioned high end products. Well that was back in 1998, and I believe nearly 10 years later I am recovered.

A $1.99 25 ounce Tecate in a can looks just f'n great when I'm thirsty. How about a Fosters Lager in the oilcan! Say hell yeah to that! Really - I'll drink whatever is put in front of me especially if you're buying.

Wisdom, experience, and my pathetic habit of always embracing at least one thing that is socially 'cool' has taught me that my current infatuation with coffee will end within the next seven years when I'll be drinking microwaved water with a teaspoon of Folgers. Mmmmmmmm, sounds........just nasty now, but I am my parents and I just can't get around this......I don't even want to bring up the inevitable ventures into box wine, repeating the same stories, and slow driving.

Early start tomorrow - 6am at work, out at 3pm - off to soccer practice with Lyza, and then the club R-ball tournament. I haven't played in a week, but one thing is for sure. I'm well rested, and I'm pretty pissed off about not playing more - so I hope that helps. Everybody is gunning for me, and each match will be one game to 21 since we have so many players. One bad streak, and you're finished. I'm gonna win and if I don't I'll go down swinging/diving/swearing. I don't even want to think about losing, but if I do, I'm gonna fetch a cold MGD at happy hour prices and watch the remaining players whip up on each other.

Correction to that last post....

I raced for 5 hours and 15 minutes on Oct 4th - left everything I had on the course and placed well dammit. I guess the time has gone by fast since then, and I haven't done shit in recent memory other than slam a few balls into walls on Thursday nights. In the spirit of just that -not having done shit in 10 days - and the fact that I can't even look at my trainer, I ambled out the door at 8:30 this morning for a 47 degree road ride up to 9,300 feet where it was exactly 37 degrees.
I'm home, warmed up, and I finally feel chemically balanced/normal again. I think I was about to slit my wrists last night over a lack of activity. Racquetball doesn't count - I need to ride.

It's Grandparents Day at Lyza's school today, and since her GP's live in Minnesota - I'm gladly subbing so I don't have to go to work. With 6 day workweeks over the last month, I deserve a little midweek time off.

C-ya

I haven't raced since.....

September 23rd.

10 days of rest have me feeling antsy, but here I am on Tuesday night staring at my trainer and feeling a lot of push back from my brain. Thoughts like "Are you serious - you want to ride indoors in PLACE". "You've got to be kidding me.....you can't ride a mountain bike on that"......and finally "Yeah right, you've got about as much self-motivation to ride that as a jobless fat-fu*k welfare recipient has of applying for a job at Hardees". Hardees, by the way, just rolled out a new Breakfast Burrito that has over 920 calories and 60 grams of saturated fat. The best quote ever from the Hardees PR clown is this:

"It makes the big country breakfast portable". The second best quote is from a critic who calls Hardees high calorie food items "Food Porn". I thought THAT mushroom was food porn.

So, where was I? I'm not sure, but I sure as hell am not hungry for mushrooms.

Top 5 shallow middle-class issues I'm facing right now:
5) I hate my trainer
4) My fantasy football team is 2-4
3) I'm out of orange juice for tomorrow morning
2) I might have to stop for gas on the way to work
1) I feel the urge to delve more deeply in Barack Obama's platform, and to learn more about Fred Thompson's decision not to campaign more aggressively in Iowa this week

time for bed

This was probably one of the first weekends where I was actually GLAD to get to Sunday afternoon......wiped out and ready for a beer or two. Saturday morning we were up at the crack of ass to act as roving photographers for the Soulstice Trail Run. D was racing the short course (around 6.5 miles), and Lyza and I decided to hop on our bikes and intercept her at various points for photo ops. Well, as it usually goes with a 6-year old, plans changed.

First, it was cold - around 35 degrees - so we didn't want to ride that fast. Second - literally 100 yards in "I have to pee Dad". So down with the pants, legs up on a log, and unload about a liter of Apple juice. That cut us down to one intercept point, and we were waiting patiently when the leaders ripped through. After the top 3 women, and the top 10 men I was thinking D would roll through in another 5-10 minutes. WRONG> here she comes ripping down the trail at max effort. We get a quick photo - scream "GO D - THROW IT DOWN" and we hop on our bikes hell bent for the finish line. We roll in about 2 minutes before she does, and get the camera out in time to get her and some dude in a green shirt who couldn't catch her at the line. She got 4th overall, and 3rd in her age group (tough age group)......another trophy for the mantle at home!

Quick ride home, and Lyza and I are off to Brownies - yes, Dads do Brownies now. We went to an animal shelter which was actually a really cool field trip. Get back - lunch - day over, right? WRONG. D and I quick change for a wedding up at the Snowbowl....babysitter for Lyza. Home and CRASH out around 10pm.

Sunday - more of the same, and that's why I was pretty psyched to hit Sunday evening with nothing 'to do'.

This week brings the October Racquetball Tourney on Thursday night. I guess I'm seeded #1, which has 'letdown' written all over it. Nice confidence, huh......I'll probably be ready to play the likes of Prick Paul, Kaotic Keith, Timid Tim, College Mike, Sponsored Chris, and Mitch the Bitch come Thursday, but I can't even think about that right now. MUST GET ON THE TRAINER and ride some miles as I have a 50 miler coming up on 11/3.

Here it is, Tuesday morning already.....better get hoppin.

Rudy Guiliani....

is creating quite a stir within the ranks of the religious-based conservatives. He's leading the Republican polls (at around 30%), yet, many of the decision makers in the GOP would consider splitting the Republican vote to ensure he doesn't get in office. In short, they are more afraid of Guiliani than Hillary Clinton.

Why?

Abortion and family values. See the religious right is in no way shape or form going to support a pro-choice candidate who is thrice married. Because the religious right is so influential on the GOP nominee, Guiliani might be stonewalled by his own party. It's firghtening to note that the right wing GOP leaders and constituents would forego their position in the White House due to ONE issue that has no political bearing on the success/security of this nation.

If you asked a GOP member today what Guilini's position is on abortion, more than 70% assume he's pro-life. Wait 'till the shit hits the fan this winter when GOP voters realize he is not aligned with the right.

Ross Perot's candidacy greatly helped the Clintons get into the White House, and that Goddamn Ralph Nader STOLE the election from Al Gore in 2000. However - Guiliani is the type of candidate who could capture a lot of independent votes and DEM votes as well. All I'm sayin' is if anyone can overcome the stranglehold of his/her party it might be RUDY.

Fun stuff - I can't wait 'till 2008!

Nice move by Tubby the Chunk Monkey above...

Lyza and I once had to pull a fat little Navajo kid out of a swing at the park - you know - the kind of semi-closed seat that kids have to slide their legs into. Well little Chief Eatalot couldn't get out. He was all screaming and sh*t. Pretty funny once he was out of there. I thought for sure we were callin' the Fire Dept. on that one.

Last Thursday I played Placid Paul in racquetball, but the dude turns out to be A-hole Martyr Paul. I know....there's no ring to it, and I've been trying to come up with a name for him all week. Prick Paul....I dunno. What I wanted to do was PELT Paul with a shot to the back of the leg, but I took the high road and played fair and square. I have something for Paul next time we play though. It's blue, it says PENN on it, and if I hit it solid it will hit his skin at 130mph. F*cker.

I've decided to prolong the cycling season simply because I hate going to the gym. There is a 50 mile marathon at an easy desert course a la Old Pueblo in Phoenix on 11/3. 9am start time - means warmth....., fast crushed granite, I couldn't imagine being out there for more than 4 hours max. Actually, by the time this is over, there are two events in December down in the Valley of the Scum that is Phoenix that will carry the 'season' into 2008 just in time for 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo on President's Day Weekend in Tucson. Bring on the 7 BITCHES of Old Pueblo. 4-man team this year, with a team chef too. No shit.

Dad is getting his Prostate chopped today....ouch. My non-denominational, agnostic-slanted, non-conformist, borderline anti-any established religion prayers are with him. I hope they count for something. Good thing he has his Minister visiting the hospital 'cause I'm leavin' him a little short in the spiritual department. With all seriousness - I hope that surgeon got the fucking cancer out of him. Good riddance to it and a speedy recovery Dad.



CB

That' a Wrap Folks....on the 2007 cycling season

My above listed spons.....ok, well they aren't sponsors because they don't exactly give me their stuff. I have to buy it like everybody else. However, without this gear, I would never have pulled off a solid finish in the Tour of the White Mountains yesterday. 70 racers in our open class event made it even that much sweeter. Pros/Singlespeeders/old guys/women...I love open class racing. No age groups - its just the first one across the line wins goddammit! It was a sunny day, a great, technically challenging course, and as always.....a sufferfest from the word GOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The gun went off at 7:15am at Thunderhorse Ranch in Pine Top, AZ. It was a warm enough day - temps in the 50's - but we had sustained winds of 25mph with consistent 40 mph gusts. I looked back just before the start and realized we had a pretty big field. I was in the 3rd row hoping for a top 10 finish.

Right out of the gate, I was 10th - and our lead group picked up a quick 30 second gap on the rest of the field....so I knew it was my job at that point to just not get passed. Only 51 miles to go to the finish line. The first several miles were forest roads designed to separate the field. It worked. I got in a paceline of guys to help cut the wind, and did my share of pulls before dropping two guys and taking a dig for the lead group of 7 - I never did make the bridge up to them, but as soon as I about blew from the effort we turned onto the singletrack for the next 40 miles and I was able to settle into a good pace. The climbing was moderate - 4,500 feet over the 51 miles so it was just a matter of keeping yourself focused.

There was a staggered start - and the 42/35 mile participants started after us, and took a shortcut that got them in front of our group.....meaning that I all of a sudden rode up on what felt like 100 intermediate-level riders, but they were all cool and were willing to let us pass them without issue. It was great psychologically - as I always had someone ahead that I was trying to catch. Well - I blew past the first 3 aid stations and was feeling great until 2:45 minutes into the race when my legs and lungs just seemed to lose their ability to hold the pace I was riding....I had a couple of bars and gels, and kinda limped into aid station #4 - thankfully helped by a long downhill section about 30 minutes after I started feeling the fatigue. 15 miles left, or so we were told. I ate cheese/gatorade/candy and it tasted sooooooooo good........but suddenly not good as I watched a guy in my class zip by the aid station at full throttle.

FUCK! Back on the bike hell bent to catch him. I knew I was close to top 10 and didn't want to lose that standing. I went a little too hard, and ended up having to stop for 30 seconds to work a cramp out of my right hamstring. It went away since I caught it right away and after some suffering for 1/2 hour, I rolled up on him and we rode together on a long stretch of the 7 miles of fire roads to the ranch. I could feel him laboring, so I punched it once and he sat on my wheel. I punched it twice, and gapped him by about 7 seconds. I did one final big-ring push out of the saddle and he disappeared behind me. I kept my effort at close to 85% of max and survived a hellish headwind to the line. 5 hours 15 minutes - good enough for 9th place. I was just psyched! Back in May I raced in a simlar category at the Whiskey 50 and placed a middling 64th out of 100. This was vindication for that race. I left everything I had in my yesterday on the trails and although I didn't get on the podium, it felt great to know I really accomplished something I had been trying to all year: Riding fast for 5-6 hours, having the awareness to not bonk, and having a strong finishing kick. I know I didn't get on the podium, and that would be a monumental achievement for me in Open Class racing. I guess I'll always have something to shoot for, that's for sure.

Go Vikes!

I yanked this out of the garage last night, actually, mine is the 2007 model which isn't as 'pimped out' as this one. Check it out - Fox RL80 fork, and a better parts spec for just another $200......well worth it if you don't have one.

Anyway - I hit the trail for 1.5 hours. My legs felt like bark-beetle infested logs with NO power or snap. Roughly calculated, I think I have 1,700 miles of wear on my legs over the last 9 months, and I think I need a break. With a 51 mile race schedule in 3 days, I better just rest for a while - HAMMER on Saturday knowing its the last hard effort until Old Pueblo in February, and enjoy the upcoming winter. Time to lift weights, maybe trail run, maybe even a yoga class or two, hit the indoor trainer to keep some cardio fitness.......yuck - all of that makes me wanna puke right now.

F'n A - I have some serious sh*tburgers to eat with regards to Lyza and her issues at school. One thing for sure, she sure keeps me on my toes.

Josh - what am I gonna do with that FULL CARBON Epic frame?

The neo-conservatives in this country are frightening. I'm more afraid of them STARTING a war with Iran than I am of this little dude from Iran who just talks trash about the 'fake holocaust' and the assertion that there are 'no homosexuals in Iran'......too funny really. For a guy who has no power, he sure has our bible thumpin, bad suit wearin conservatives nervous. Give this guy a mic and let him do standup!

Week ahead..

This is on 10/6. I have not been riding much due to the short days, and mucho worko. But - this is kinda the finale for the season....at least for competitive events anyway. Truth be told, I'm kinda ready to put a capper on 2007 alltogether. 1-51 mile race and it's pretty much closed for business. It's been a great year.....A second place finish + cash, no major mechanical issues to pay for, and no injuries other than fatigue from time to time. Oh yeah - and that sweet S-Works frame from the raffle.

The weekend was a blur. Work, play - a pretty good mix of the two. Brett Favre schooled the Vikes. It's great to see Favre playing with such fortitude and fun even if he has to paste the Vikes.

Lyza and D continue to rock my small world.

CB

Correction:

I placed a stellar 19th out of 27 Cat 5 men. I'm a punk hillclimber. Dana was 4th of 7 women in Cat 4.

Like it matters.....

I'm a geek. I traded 7 players on my fantasy football roster this week.

Like it matters.....

Racquetball tonight against College Mike and Loud Mouth Mike. Bof of 'em (Hey Vito) are good. I've lost to bof, and beaten 'em bof too. Should be a good night on the courts.

Have you ever ground up pinon coffee beans straight from the Country of New Mexico (there's no way its a state - have ya been there before?). This sh*t is just fantastic. Smoky, full-flavored espresso at its finest. Hell, I'll even drive there to get more.

Coffee and Racquetball.....they matter

The Kid at School Part Two

1.) The cops have followed up about as well as FEMA with regards to our report. Whatever.
2.) We asked that the kid be allowed to stay in the same class - what he did was probably nothing more than mimicking something he saw on some sh*t TV program or movie.
3.) Counseling session for me and the Ex on Friday - to discuss this stuff and Squirty going back and forth between houses as seamlessly as possible.

Random Shallow Thoughts

1.) I have around 100 days until I'm due for a cherry-poppin' "backside" exam - yup, the first one. Since my Pops is going in for prostate surgery next month, I best get inspected.
2.) I'm still thinking about building up that carbon Specialized Epic frame. I'll have to donate plasma for the extra money to do it, but.....
3.) When I was unintentionally listening to Nelly Furtado last night, I reminisced about the show Star Search - and how great of a talent Alanis Morissette was when she was 16.
4.) Have you ever wanted to be a cop?
5.) I would love to hear why one would not vote for Hillary Clinton in 2008. If she gets her legitimate health care plan rolling - there's no stopping her.

Google Maps said that Safford, AZ was 308 miles from my door - equivalent to 5 hours and 8 minutes. We left Flagstaff on Saturday in a hurricane. Sheets of rain, hydroplaning, the whole 9 yards. I have to give a big thanks to Subaru for making a pretty solid car in the Forester. We had 4 people, 4 bikes, gear and it was a solid ride. Numerous construction issues brought us to the east side of Phoenix around 6:30pm and we were starving. We fleeced a gas station of napkins, and plasticware and made burritos in the parking lot as we had the ingredients in the parking lot. We had to send Dana in to heat them up, as Gary had already been kicked out of the store once for "you take too much napkin".

Back in the car, and into mining country - Mormon country - Crystal Methe country....Globe/Miami, and finally to Safford around 10:00pm....6 1/2 hours later. We crashed at a little Best Western, to the sweet feeling of stagnant, humid, warm air, and highway noise. Truckers seemed to be playing games as they came through to pick up their methe fixes - laying on their horns HARD all the way down the main drag. I slept for sh*t, and woke up at 5:15am to the sound of Gary's cell phone alarm. Usually I can't sleep before a big race, but believe me - the competition was above my league so I was not stressing about the ride.

We rolled over to the start/staging area in plenty of time, get the numbers, warm up on the rollers, over to the line - National anthem, and then this goofy prayer by the race organizer. There were 150+ racers that I would imagine represented a lot of religions and this guy was spouting off about thanking God and Jesus. Maybe I'm just growing tired of this stuff - but I couldn't wait to race and hear him ZIP his zealous piehole.

The organizer sounded the airhorn - and we were off. Let me tell ya a little bit about this field. It is LOADED with the top road climbers in the state. Who else would show up for a 5,600 foot climb over 20 miles? These people have powertaps, uber-expensive bikes, and a some pretty good fitness Well - I know of two people, me and Dana, who probably didn't train properly for this. I have been riding mountain bikes all summer, so I felt like I could at least compete. Dana rode MAYBE 2x a week for a month prior figuring it would be similar to Mount Lemmon in Tucson. The mood at the line was unlike any MTB race I've been at. Ego-centric, not friendly, and since it was a mass start - everyone was trying to figure out who they were competing against.

Ok, GO!

Instantly, D and I were in the back 3rd of the pack - where we belonged. I was doing the pacemaking for us as we agreed. The Goal was for me to work the pitches of 4% and less, and for her to pace us when it got steep. I had to fight to keep us at the front of the back 1/3, and I was contunially pushing 173 on the ol' heart rate monitor. That's a lof of effort for me, and I was convinced for the first 4 miles that my HR was off by 10 beats per minute. Yeah - right...it was me burying myself to keep us in the race. I kept this up for 4 miles until we hit a 10% pitch.

I gunned it since I could see that it would end in 1/4 mile, and Dana followed. I hit 180 on the HR and had to slow down - but we dropped about 20 people there and never saw them again. We then set a pace that brought me back down a bit and hung on for the next 6 miles to the 1/2 way point. Psychologically I was breaking down, and then the sun broke through the clouds and it got HOT....hot for me at least. I fell about 50 yards behind D and sat there for 3 more miles until I recovered. I paced back up to her and we were at mile 13 - thinking in my head - 'how the f*ck am I gonna make it to mile 20 without slowing down significantly'. Just then, it was as if my body stabilized, and my HR dropped to a very comfortable 168. We rode at this pace for another 2 miles (mile 15) - and hit intense fog, and the top finishers were already riding DOWN. It didn't seem logical - we weren't going that slow. Turns out we see the race director at the next switchback and he screams: "Race ends in 1K! Too much fog and hail!" Well, D is gassed, and she doesn't have a kick. I have some extra, but we couldn't see a soul in front of us, or behind us so I didn't sprint for the line - instead, we upped the tempo a notch and rode across the line together in 1 hour, 51 minutes.

We grapped the gear we sent up with the support vehicle (leg warmers, winter riding jackets, full-fingered gloves, earbands) and took off for the bottom as the snow and hail was coming down. It was a long ride down on wet roads for 12 miles - as the storm had just followed us up the mountain.

At the awards ceremony in Methe-ville, USA - we realized just how average we were compared to the best climbers in the State. The winning Pro 1,2 men were coming in around 1 hour and 15 minutes. Two things were inspiring though:

1.) There were a lot of men riding with us that were in their 50's and even 60's. It's great to know that if I'm dedicated, I can ride well into my geriatric years. And ride well, too.
2.) D. She trained for sh*t, and kept pace with the women in her category - placing 4th and only 3 minutes out of first in the Women's Cat 4. The chick is a solid rider, and I couldn't have felt any better about riding with her the whole way (except for that 3 mile stretch where I was DYING and hanging on 50 yards back). If she trained for this thing, I would not have been riding with her as she would have put 5 minutes into me easily.

For the record, I finished 12th out of 15 Cat 5 men......and that is one reason I'm pumped for the Epic Rides Tour of the White Mountains in 2 weeks. It's on mountain bikes - 51 miles of singletrack, and I know I can hit the top 15 in the Mens division if I come to play. Long Live the Mountain Bike, and screw the skinny tires until maybe next spring.

A F*cked up Friday

1) One of Squirty's classmates has been kissing her, and GOT his hand in her pants during class - no kidding. Intervention on Monday with school counselors - questioning, the whole f*cking 9 yards. The kid is 6.....I can't punch him in the face, but I can punch his Dad.
2) Racing this weekend kinda seems irrelevant right now. Like I give a f*ck? But - life goes on, and nothing can happen between now and Monday. Gary recommended that I put a 27 tooth cog on the back. I've never ridden anything other than an 11-23 with a 39/53 up front. I'll try it tomorrow as a test since he described the climb as Looooong and steep.
3) I'm dyin' on the vine right now - just feeling flat, tired, and I'm about as exciting as watching the Twins play baseball at 15 games out of first with 10 to go. WHATEVER.
4) Racquetball was a success last night from a scoring perspective. I'm getting better and am dominating the league right now. It continues to be the best mental release and inside my head, I'm just screaming at the ball trying to crush it into the wall. I don't think I'm very fun to play, but I don't really give a sh*t. I want to win and leave a wake behind me of dejected players. F*ck em.

I'll snap out of it. Its just that you never know when you get to start eatin' shitburgers. I'm at the White Castle of shitburgers right now - just pumpin' down a dozen at a time.....sliders.

CB